Don’t deny it, you’ve seen plenty of Hallmark holiday movies.
Conflicts are easily overcome, old flames are rekindled, and cookies are eaten.
But what really goes into creating one of these jolly tales of Yuletide wonderment?
Credit: Ryan Plummer/Crown Media
We asked two Hallmark movie writers to share the inside scoop on their experience.
ENTERTAINMENT WEEKLY: So how does the process start?
Do you pitch Hallmark an idea and then write it if they’re interested?
MERRY:Basically, we go through production companies.
They make 10-15 movies for Hallmark a year so they know what they’re after.
Were you fans before you got involved?
It’s like trying to write underwater with handcuffs.
It’s helpful in that you don’t have that many choices.
The blank piece of paper isn’t so blank.
you’re free to have somebody get drunk in aNetflix movie, but not a Hallmark movie.
Okay, let’s talk about the rules because I’m sure there are so many!
What can you tell us about the Hallmark regulations that ensure a harmonious Christmas for all?
MERRY:The first rule is snow.
We were told you cannot do that, there must be snow.
They can’t be waiting for the snow, there has tobesnow.
You cannot threaten them with no snow.
Our idea for Christmas in Miami?
Not in a million years.
At least not at this point in the way they approach these movies.
They’re very, very, very specific about what they want to see.
CHRISTMAS:They always like Christmas activities like gingerbread-making contests, snowman-making contests.
CHRISTMAS:The wedding movies on Hallmark are the same; you could’t have enough wedding things!
It’s the same kind of thing where they just overload it with whatever the seasonal thing is.
They like to hit you over the head with the seasonal club.
MERRY:Right, there cannot be a single scene that does not acknowledge the theme.
CHRISTMAS:They can’t not like each other too much.
Theydislike.You’re not allowed to use the word hate or the word crazy in Hallmark.
Everything goes through a mildness filter.
You have to mild-ify everything that you do just to kind of take all the edges off.
It’s like everything gets sanded, filed down so the sharp edges come off.
CHRISTMAS:Any sexual is too sexual.
MERRY:Anything that someone might find jarring that would shake up their little world of gingerbread and snow.
They don’t want anything to offend anyone.
It’s comfort food and I guess a lot of people like that nothing is going to rattle them.
No cannibalism, no brutal murders, nothing like that.
Right, and never anything nothing beyond a chaste kiss.
CHRISTMAS:Yes, and only at the very end.
MERRY:But there is the almost-kiss.
You’ll have at least one almost-kiss, where something happens to prevent it.
They’re just the wrong guy, but they could never be bad; they’re just not right.
Well, he’s in every Hallmark movie.
But it still all works out in the end…
MERRY: Of course!
I think there’d be mass riots.
What about personality traits for the characters?
What do you have to include?
We’ll always write the initial descriptions as “cute girl” and “nice guy.”
Everything’s just such a white, white, white, white world.
It’s a white Christmas after allwith the snow and the people.
CHRISTMAS:They’re also shot in Canada, which is very white.
MERRY:Netflix will have a gay character and a little bit more diversity than Hallmark does.
So once you submit your script do they come back with heavy edits?
So is writing one of these a long process or is it fairly short?
CHRISTMAS:Oh, it’s fast for us.
The writing is the fun part.
Basically, an act or two a day and there’s nine.
Is there any dialogue they ask you to include?
So is there a pool of writers Hallmark uses over and over?
MERRY:Oh, yes.
That is our dream.
That’s all we want for Christmas.
We want to crack the inner circle of the go-to Hallmark writers because we’re still on the periphery.
As a writer, what’s the appeal in working on these?
CHRISTMAS:We love to do it and it’s relatively easy for us to do it.
When we have the time, we can crank them out pretty quickly.
All you have to do is diagram it.
