“Why on Earth would you ever be frightened of me?”
Next there are a bunch of Bernard flashes.
Bernard (Present): Bernard wakes amid the waves on a beach and we’re flashing back toInception.
Credit: John P. Johnson/HBO
They’re led by a new character, Karl Strand.
We don’t know much about him other than he seems like a jerk.
Oh, and one other thing.
They have red cards and Bernard is on one of them.
He’s listed as “high priority.”
We assume these cards are used to ID Delos staff.
But first, Strand deals with a military officer and orders him “off my island.”
So the Delos parks are on an island!
They pull back his scalp and see an imprint of The Maze: “What’s that about?”
“I have no fking clue,” answers another.
That’s okay, we never understood the whole scalp-maze thing either.
“This will get gross,” the guy warns us, entirely too late.
He reaches into the host skull and pulls out of the CPU.
Despite being a crusader for host rights, Dolores is apparently a bit robo-elitist.
The team is a bit surprised that its sweet and innocent Dolores is on the rampage.
Dolores (After the Uprising): The revolt started 11 days ago, we’re told.
Confusing matters, theWestworldpremiere also has a narrative of Bernard After the Uprising.
So as a man on another ill-advised island theme park once said: Hold onto your butts.
We catch up to her later as she keeps a trio of Delos VIPs on their toes.
They’re perilously standing atop grave markers with nooses around their necks.
“I have one last role to play: myself.”
If we knew that, there would be thousands marching in the streets for host rights.
Were we just told the ending?
So she leaves the guests seemingly doomed.
But if we pretend like this scene is real, they’re not.
Got time for a quick exercise?
Really, stand up right now.
Now reach up and venture to remove an imaginary noose from your neck and over your head.
it’s possible for you to do this pretty easily.
Her one constant, she says, is Teddy, and she’s planning world domination.
I know how this story ends…with us Teddy.
It ends with you and me."
Maeve (After the Uprising): We’re backstage, where there’s plenty of assorted carnage.
The parks' arrogant writer Lee Sizemore is being attacked by a cannibal.
Maeve manages to stop the host from killing him with a casual phrase.
Since upgrading herself last season, Maeve has apparently gained serious power over the other hosts.
Hmm, can Dolores do this?
These two make a fun combocowardly duplicitous human Lee and sexy cunning android Maeve.
They’re sort of like the Gaius Baltar and Six ofWestworld.
Bernard is unwell, leaking white fluid from his brain like Bishop inAliens.
Below they find a secret laboratory.
Because if there’s one thing Westworld does not lack it’s secret laboratories.
Here we learn a lot of new information that’s probably rather important.
First there they find a tall, ultra-creepy white “drone host.”
The drone is shown swabbing the genitals of a host and downloading its CPU.
“Are we logging records of guest experiences and their DNA?”
What happens in Westworld apparently does not stay in Westworld.
She’s told there will be no help until “the package” is received.
Bernard says they can find Abernathy using the “mesh data pipe.”
I mean, don’t they have a Find My iHost feature?
He’s attacked by some hosts and dispatches them, showing again why he’s an expert gamer.
“The game begins where you end, and ends where you begin,” Ford riddles.
“Even now, still speaking in code,” the MiB says.
Ford goes, “Everything is code here William,” which is true enough.
The MiB kills young Ford, because that’s what he does with hosts.
“We got Bengals in Park 6,” we’re told.
This means three things: First, hosts are off their loops in the other parks too.
Second, the hosts are now able to cross over to the other parks.
And third: There’s a park with tigers.
Oh, yo let Park 6 be a feline-themed land populated with host-cats of all types.
It could be filled with giant play structures, laser pointers, and grocery bags.
They could even have cats that talk!
If Delos was paying attention to the internet, they totally would have built Cat World.
Anyway, they realize that the hosts are all clustered together and go seek them out.
So at some point in the last 11 days, there was apparently a great deluge.
They find hundreds of hosts dead in the water.
Stubbs asks Bernard what happened.
“I killed them,” Bernard says.
“All of them.”
The floating host we see at the very endit’s hard to identify himbut it’s lovable Teddy.
And Teddy’s last name is … And here you thought you’d get through theWestworldseason 2 premiere without seeing Teddy dead, didn’t you?
And that’s it for the season opener.
In the meantime, I really have my fingers crossed for Cat World.
Dolores killed all the hosts.
But maybe she programmed Bernard tothinkhe killed all the hostsincluding herto cover her tracks.
This is how she will escape the park.
Sort of like Hans Gruber’s plan to blow up the hostages at Nakatomi Plaza.
We see Teddy dead, but we also are introduced to these removable CPU Brita filters.
It’s just like she said: “It ends with you and me.”
