Where is SUR’s HR department?
Guys, did you know Rob is super cute and super rich and really really loves Scheana?
Oh but he doesnt like to say the words love or kiss her.
Credit: Bravo
Oh and also she is no longer dating Rob IRL.
Were back at Big Bear at Robs cabin, which he paid $375,000 for.
We know this because he announces it while captaining his boat…which Im guessing he also owns.
But we open with Jax not in awesome shape.
The drinking surely did not help, but Jax cant even go for a job in this high altitude.
Meanwhile, Lala is inside the house hitting the sauce before Sandoval has even started scrambling the eggs.
Jax attempts to go for a jog but has to stop because of breathing issues.
But mostly hes just trying to look cool in front of Rob because Scheana wont stop praising the dude.
Jax even decides to swim out to a buoy but then gets too wiped out to swim back.
After almost drowning, Jax goes inside to get some sympathy from his friend group.
But folks seem more concerned about when Sandoval will be done with the eggs.
Stassi swings by in the midst of the chandelier subplot to invite Lisa on her podcast.
But I think the chandeliers mostly distracted her.
Katie then swings in to start wrapping silverware in napkins.
Somehow she and Billie Lee and Lisa start talking about vaginas.
My orgasms are amazing, says Billie to her boss.
Clearly, SUR has no HR department.
I mean Jax would have been fired ages ago if that was the case.
Stassi tries to brainstorm podcast questions with Schwartz and Katie.
But Schwartz just wants to know sexual things about Lisa.
Stassi reveals that she and Patrick are shocker fighting a lot.
Katie reassures her that there are millions of people out there for her.
But who likes psycho girls?
Back in Big Bear, the men all take the boat out for a little bro bonding.
And now hes dating a failed pop star and waitress at SUR.
Time for some self-reflection, sir.
He also reveals that he doesnt return the favor when Scheana says she loves him.
This sets off an alarm in Jaxs brain: He finally has something he can hold over Rob.
Raquel is also apparently on this trip, although you rarely hear her speak.
She and Lala are having a normal convo about being part of the mile-high club.
For the record, Lala has done it on a PJ but not commercial.
But Raquel mostly wants to tell her that she sorta feels uncomfortable with the relationship between James and Lala.
Gurl, you are correct.
Lala assures her, though, that she would never do that.
Stassi interviews Lisa for her podcast and it all goes pretty well.
Lisa makes some nice points about women and ambition and philanthropy and relationships.
Then, Stassi asks her if shed rather swim in pool of poop or dead bodies.
With barely a pause, Lisa chooses poop.
I mean this is a woman who lives with about 20 mini ponies.
Kristen, who at this point is like a recurring guest star, shows up to chat.
Scheana reveals she and Rob have a new business where people sell their exes stuff.
Um, I think thats called revenge.
Kristen tells Scheana that Jax has been talking trash about her relationship.
Scheana does not enjoy people raining on her dont-say-I-love-you parade, so she plots revenge against Jax.
But, again, she and Rob are no longer together so I think maybe Jax wins?
