The big twist about Jax is revealed…and it’s not surprising at all.
Somehow the Golden Globes and HFPA missed rewardingVanderpump Rulesthis morning.
Sooooooo we open back at Scheanas b-day party, a.k.a.
Credit: Bravo
The Party Where We Found Out Jax Hooked Up in Front of a Sleeping Senior Citizen.
Brittany is still a mess and crying and whatnot.
Kristen is still threatening to like destroy Jaxs balls.
Her confessional interviews have a very repetitive theme this year.
She does offer Brittany this gem: Youve made us all better people!
In the midst of this massive betrayal, Brittany manages to be super nice to her Uber driver.
Back inside, Scheana is livid at Jax, who asks for everyone to believe him.
Scheana realizes he has a point: I didnt see penetration!
No I did not see it!
You wont get this kind of incredible dialogue onThis Is Us just saying.
But she is not here for it.
She is packing her bags and headed to Vegas.
That is howPump Rulesstars respond to tragic events.
Is Jax Taylor the most compelling, maddening antihero on television?
Brittany once again is super sweet to her Uber driver.
Her rating must be through the roof.
James shows up at Sur wasnt he like banned from this place?
I never remember his relationship with the Vanderpumps.
But he brings Raquel with him for a job interview.
Lisa meets up with them and Raquel asks if she can get a job at Vanderpump Dogs.
Lisa is then like, What do you do?
to Raquel and she is utterly mystified by the question.
Lisa recommends she volunteer first to get her bearings.
Lisa also agrees to let James DJ once again at Sur.
The Toms, Scheana, and Ariana head to a bar for Arianas brothers birthday.
Schwartz gets schwasted according to Ariana.
At some point, he goes into like a corner and starts crying about his lack of ambition.
Then, Sandoval starts crying and the tears stain either the concealer on his face or the tinted moisturizer.
Either way, its both sweet and a little bit sad.
Schwartz misses the parade portion because hes in the bathroom pooping.
But then he manages to make an appearance as the group visits a leather tent.
Sandoval is not-so-surprisingly into being spanked by Ariana.
She chooses to watch, though, and lets the leather experts take the lead.
Finally, we meet Stassis much-discussed boyfriend Patrick.
Hes sort of what I expected but with a man bun.
I assumed he would have a not-good haircut but that was not the one I was imagining.
Stassi is also befuddled by his uses of juggernaut and galvanize.
Hes also real confused by the idea of Stassi going into event planning.
But, turns out, shes YouTubed it so shes got it handled!
Meanwhile, Kristen is planning their wedding.
Id slow your roll on those Save the Dates, Doute.
Back at Sur, things are super awkward between Brittany and Jax.
But then Brittany drops a bigger bomb: She had sex with him this morning!
What in the hell?
If I were to make rules to suriving a stress-freeVanderpump Rulesseason, No.
1 would be Do Not Have Sex with Jax Taylor.
