Jax makes a shocking decision about Brittany
Zzzzzzzz oh, sorry.
I temporarily dozed off during this episode ofVanderpump Rules.
Id rather have watched Insta videos of Lala, Sandoval, and James at Coachella this weekend.
Credit: Bravo
Things were super snoozy…until the last three minutes (more on that in a bit).
Were back at SUR and Jax is in the throes of his middle-finger breakdown bonanza.
He storms off and strikes the payphone, which still looks like it would reaaaaally hurt.
Sandoval actually questions whether or not Jax should be medicated.
Shocking that Kelsey the Reiki master is not able to heal him with her rocks and forehead thumping.
The actual sad part about all this is poor Brittany.
But it does actually make you wish she would find a dude who wasnt so d-baggy.
Stassi starts breaking down because her relationship with Patrick is not going well.
Thankfully, theyre helium balloons and so she can inhale some gas and do a mean Scheana impersonation.
Turn that frown upside down.
Lala heads to the recording studio to chat with James.
First of all, I cant believe that her showcase hasnt happened.
They scouted the location like four episodes ago.
THIS IS THE SEASON OF LALA.
Over at Tom Tom, things are sorta looking better.
The garbage is gone, so thats a good start.
The bar is framed out and theres sort of an upstairs.
But theres still things that need to be done.
Where do we get frozen ice?, asks Schwartz.
I hope someone else is handling the finances of Tom Tom.
Sandoval and Schwartz both take a tour with beers in hand and self-announced semis.
Schwartz accepts, obvs.
Its time for the Pucker & Pout party and Katie has her family in tow.
Kristen shows up on crutches it seems she stubbed her foot.
This reeks of a too-much-booze situation.
You betta check the tape.
Your girlfriend lies a ton.
He even finds out that Kristen and James were together near the hot tub.
He confronts her about it and she gets enraged that he doesnt trust her.
You betta check the tape.
You lie a ton.
Then, it ends with Kristen hobbling through the kitchen upset.
It might be one of the most haunting images ever fromVanderpump Rules.
While this is happening, Stassi sits Brittany down for some truth time.
Stassi straight up asks, What if youre wasting your best years?
Then, she tells Brittany that she definitely wont come if Brittany and Jax ever get married.
Happy Pucker & Pout night!
Its all the more hilarious when when we cut to Stassi and Patrick meeting up in her apartment.
They have been fighting and need to flush the air but Patrick doesnt seem to have coherent arguments.
Instead, we get some weirdGame of Thronesmetaphors that I still dont truly understand.
But Stassi has a super cute kitchen.
Over at Schwartz and Katies apartment, some happier news…well, sorta.
Katie tells Schwartz that shes been struggling with depression and PTSD after her skylight accident.
I still would like a few more details on this whole thing.
It feels like we havent fully gotten to the bottom of the event.
But she feels more like herself than she has in years and she starts crying with happiness.
But like, really, what happened?
Jax kinda tries to argue with her but not very convincingly.
Im just wondering how long after this he called the Reiki master for guidance.
