As I have stated previously, vacations are the kiss of death for Bravo reality cast members.
You get in screaming fights.
You take off your clothes.
Credit: Bravo
You fall drunkenly into bushes.
You end up in tears on a balcony.
But wonderful for us to all watch.
But Jax seems to finally be aware of this trend.
He has major anxiety about this massive group trip to Mexico that Brittany is planning for his bday.
Thankfully, he has a morning meeting with Reiki master Kelsey to de-stress.
In a totally not suspicious move, he throws Britt out of the apartment.
Or whatever this does!
she says as she leaves their house.
Jax then gets to work like Cinderella-style cleaning their apartment top to bottom.
She leaves him with some stones that will hopefully take the negative energy out of his place.
Jax does seem to be in better spirits when shes around.
He even suggests people label her The Jax Whisperer.
I cant wait for the Robert Redford film adaptation of Kelseys life.
But its more awkward because he hasnt yet explained this all to Brittany.
But shes all for him growing up.
We all are, Britt.
Elsewhere, Stassi is planning Lalas big showcase.
She meets Lalas music team, which includes a man Lala refers to as Blk Elvis.
Stassis plan for the big evening is sexy, dark, mildly haunted house.
Confusingly, this is a concept that Lala loves.
But Stassi admits she doesnt know anything about music so shes letting Lala and her team work on that.
Stassi only listens to show tunes, reggaeton and theGame of Thronessoundtrack.
Scheana and Rob meet up about their bonkers idea, Divorce Closet.
Like that feels reaaaal fishy.
Is this just so she can get rid of Shays snowboard?
Scheana seems to think this is an idea on which they can both retire.
Id keep booking SUR shifts, gurl.
She just looks at him and flirts instead of being like, Hold up.
Give me the exact deets.
She then brings up marrying him and you might see Rob die inside a little bit.
As usual, there is drinking both before and after the flight.
And for a refund.
Jax and Brittany do actually have a really nice room, complete with a private pool.
They access that fairly quickly with Brittany opting for a topless swim.
Meanwhile, Kristen and Stassi are roomies, which feels like its going to go awry real soon.
Apparently, Doute is not the best roommate.
Lemme put on my big surprise face.
He has magically appeared in the last couple episodes and now wants a promotion from barback to bartender.
Hes super cute and now possibly involved in a storyline with Brittany but his bartending skills suck.
Then again, Jax isnt like crushing his position at the SUR bar.
Finally, its time for dinner in Mexico.
Besides Jaxs birthday, its also a celebration of Scheanas divorce.
Jax decides to take the two Toms aside and tell them about his (maybe fake) Tampa job.
Theyre floored hed wanna move away but Jax feels like its time for them to all grow up.
Why would you say that?
Clearly, she just wants to take revenge for Jax crapping on her own relationship.
Brittany also lets all the ladies know about Jaxs Tampa idea.
By the time Jax returns, everyone is sorta confused about this job.
She wants to work with disabled children and her own boyfriend could not remember.
This sets off Lala, who is all about girl power this season.
She starts screaming at Jax.
Then, Stassi starts yelling.
Eventually, a bunch of the girls get up and just leave.
Happy Birthday/Divorce, Jax and Scheana!
