Jax has a massive middle-finger breakdown after the gang returns from Mexico.
Also, Stassi eats pizza with balsamic vinegar.
Have we been in Mexico for half the season ofVanderpump Rules?
Credit: Bravo
It certainly feels that way.
Alas, its only been 4 days in real time.
I think Playa del Carmen might exist in a different time continuum like the island onLost.
Lala is still super pissed about getting a drink thrown on her odd Tim Burton-esque shirt dress.
Stassi tries to reason with her but Lala doesnt feel like anyone has James back.
Also, her dress has potentially a spot on it…but its super hard to see.
James runs off and calls Raquel and starts crying on the phone.
He feels like hes being bullied again, just like grade school.
Enough with this storyline.
Sandoval tries to comfort him and get to the bottom of the situation.
Its hard to take any of this seriously since theyre both wearing short suits like theyre in AC/DC.
She reveals that she enjoys eating her pizza with a side of balsamic.
Well, balsamic is No.
3 on her list.
But you gotta take what you’re free to get.
Elsewhere, the rest of the gang is about to get turnt, as announced by Jax.
That makes me reaaaaal nervous given this groups penchant for getting blackout drunk.
In Lalas room, she and James recap the night and attempt to make sense out of it all.
Lala, obvs, is sucking on her iconic baby bottle at this point.
She tells James that theyre best pals, just like Eminem and Dre.
Im not really clear on who is Eminem and who is Dr. Dre.
Its a fun debate to have, though.
Um, bro, your bar is like a dusty construction site.
Like Im pretty sure Lala and Scheana are not gonna be cool with using a port-a-potty.
Jax kicks Brittany out of their room so he can call Reiki master Kelsey.
Oh, and he knows that Mandela is from the country of Africa.
Finally, the Mexico trip is over and the gang heads back to WeHo.
Kristen takes Carter out for lunch and explains the James situation and the rumors.
Carter, though, is mostly annoyed that Kristen even put herself in these situations.
Back at SUR, its time for another edition of James See You Next Tuesday party.
Lisa gets there early and notices that Lalas lips are huge.
She explains shes been sucking on some sort of bottle its unclear if she means the baby one.
But Lala also reveals Jaxs hockey dreams to Lisa, which shes sorta thrilled about.
It means that Jax could finally be out of her life.
He seems more concerned with the whole Scheana-setting-up-Adam-with-Brittany and, of course, Reiki.
Meanwhile, Stassi comes over to Katies and Schwartzs house to help plan a party.
Apparently, Katie has a beauty blog called Pucker & Pout.
The conversation then turns to Kristen and these cheating rumors.
Stassi admits that if Patrick did this to her shed probably plan his own death.
Back at SUR, the party goes into full swing and Jax has a full-blown meltdown.
He confronts Adam about the supposed crush he has on Scheana which Adam denies and then he confronts Scheana.
Then, he decides to just flip everyone off in the restaurant multiple times.
Lisa throws him out and Sandoval tries to reason with him.
But Jax feels like everyone treats him unfairly.
He rips off his mic and punches a pay phone.
The last part looks like it really hurt.
