When Shane died, it was a sacrifice Rick thought he made for the group and it changed him.
He changed again when Lori died.
Rick nearly lost himself, but he ultimately came back with a Ricktatorship resolve.

Credit: Gene Page/AMC
When Glenn and Abraham died, it broke him again, but, once more, he came back.
Thats what the dream sequence of Old Man Rick has been about.
All are working together to sustain one united community.
If you could still be who you were, thats how it could be, Carl says.
Rick explains to Carl that everything he has done has been for his children.
Its difficult to know what Rick stands for, though.
So what will Carls death mean for Rick?
How will he fight now?
With one mystery solved (Old Man Rick), another remains open.
Is this scene from the future?
Is this a dream sequence?
So how did we get here?
Most of the hour is reserved for Carls sendoff.
The rest of the hour centers on Morgan.
Hes able to escape by using other walkers as a diversion and follows Gavins convoy toward The Kingdom.
Snapping back to the present, Carol is also making her way there.
We find the Alexandrians grieving over Carl as his virus takes over.
Each new explosion from above further enflames their grief as they watch helplessly as Carls body fails.
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The result is a lot of heart-to-hearts.
Rick and Michonne, meanwhile, are staying behind with Carl until his last breath.
But theres one problem with that: Morgan saw Henry sneak back in.
So, as Carol says, If we need to take them, we take them.
One by one, they take the Saviors.
Morgans staff was once a symbol of a repentant monk.
Now its a symbol of a sadist.
Morgan doesnt kill Saviors swiftly with a gun, as Carol does; he makes them suffer.
When Carol tells them to bypass another troop of Saviors, Morgan says no again.
But this time hes slipping.
Meanwhile, Ezekiel is getting inside Gavins head.
You are the author of this night, Gavin.
Its close will be fashioned by your star, the king says.
Carol and Ezekiel look on in silent horror, but Gavin puts their shared disgust into words: Jesus!
The rest of the rescue turns into a horror story for Gavin.
He desperately runs through hallways lit by flame as Morgan slowly stalks him.
All thats missing is the ch ch ch ah ah ah.
Flames also lick across the roofs of Alexandria.
Morgan and Rick, again, find themselves intertwined.
While Gavin lies stunned at Morgan slaughtering the Saviors over the kid (i.e.
the death of Benjamin), Rick admits hes done everything for his own kid.
Then, before Carl reveals his hopeful dream for the future, Morgan goes to kill Gavin.
I have to, he tells Carol and Ezekiel.
But before he can, Henry pops up behind Gavin and pushes his own staff through the Saviors throat.
Morgan trembles as his sickness has spread to the child he once mentored.
I had to, the boy tells Ezekiel afterwards mimicking Morgans own words.