Butboydid this sucker ever rev up in the last act,hunny.
As you may have noticed by Porshas masterful linguistics, theRHOAladies have arrived in Barcelona, Spain.
And now she wants to book a vacation home for eight of reality TVs most high-maintenance women?
Credit: Bravo
Lets just lift our hands in Phaedra-style praise that this didnt happen onRHONY.
But were not eventoCynthias eight-bedroom, six-bathroom disaster yet.
The conversation naturally turns to the frenemies who couldnt make it to Spain, Kenya and Kim.
Oh sweet, flawless-faced Eva.
And then Porshaexplicitlyasked if she really wanted to know, and Cynthia said yes.
So…only on theReal Housewivesdo two rights make a wrong.
I dont understand why I need to put the balls in my mouth, says Cynthia.
No, thats too close to the ahole!
I think tea-bagging is a must, says Kandi.
All rightBeverly Hills,your turn to weigh in!
And, honestly, theyre nottotalbrats about what is obviously a perfectly lovely villa.
They just say things like, I mean its cute…itscute.
Kandi basically goesfull King Curtis: Shes not listening to NeNes rules.
Im not changing, she repeats over and over until NeNe gives up.
This will come to bite her in her middle-aged girl behind.
The women retire to their originally chosen bedrooms to change into pajamas for a relaxed dinner at the villa.
Never change, Sheree.
Sheree tells her that NeNe said something to the effect of her faking her various health issues.
Kim becomes furious, saying, Shes fing scum and I wont even acknowledge it.
Reader: She acknowledges it.
And I have left zero, and I am very close to 100. yo, be with me Jesus.
Unfortunately, Bravos lord and savior, Andy Cohen, was not with NeNe on that night.
First Kandi; then Sheree; Porsha yammers on in the background.
(I love it, and I hate myself for loving it.)
Kim has texted the entire group: NeNe is sick and disgusting.
And Im not just speaking on the fact that she made fun of a SERIOUS health issue I had.
But Im also speaking on the fact that she lives in a fing roach nest.
Kim and Brielle are, like, taping videos in peoples homes and saving them for mad day?
asks Cynthia, incredulous.
But this is coming from the same person who takes handicap spots from a handicap person.
She is…livid.
Her eyes do not open for the next 10 minutes.
To her credit, NeNe does not walk back on what she implied earlier.
She tells Shree shedoesthink Kim is faking her illnesses my other least favoriteHousewivestrope, coincidentally.
Buenos noches and muy bien nachos, everyone!
