This week’s mystery woman is a blonde divorced mother of one from Nashville
Hi, America!
Ha ha ha ha ha ha, me neither [stifled sob].
Anyway, welcome to week 2 ofThe Proposal!
Credit: Byron Cohen/ABC
Lets meet the mystery woman: Ashlee Hewitt, a blonde divorced mother of one from Nashville!
Shes also a ghost who plays guitar.
Ashlee is a country music singer, but most of her songs lately have been about breakups.
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Will one ofThe Proposals 10 men be able to change her tune?
Also, this woman has a child and shes going to bring a stranger home as her fiance?
Consider yourself judged, mlady.
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Anyhow, lets meet the men!
I want to be the instagram couple that everyone looks up to, he says.
I want her friends to be jealous.
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Um, what would Jesus post?
Jordan Coon, 33:Hes an ad agency producer, and hes so unique, he plays hockey!
Leo Malamud, 34:This dude has the audacity to list his job as real estate tycoon.
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Anyone else want to bet he works at Century 21?
Samuel White, 27:Hes a law student, an entrepreneur,anda wedding DJ!
Some reality TV contestants cant even manage to have one job, but this dude has three.
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Paul Bupte, 27:An assistant colorist?
So… a straight man who does hair?
Forget hockey thisis unique.
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Id accuse this show of being sexist if it werent so glaringly obvious already.
Nate Hampel, 29:Hes cute.
Tyson Faifer, 37:So I guess were just using entrepreneur now for unemployed?
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Also, did he accidentally buy his tux in the big-and-tall section?
Hes swimming in that jacket!
And the first round cuts are…
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Sorry, men whose names I already forgot!
(And Terence.)
Somebody get a hose for the audience, because its time for thebeachwear competition.
Leo, on the other hand, is not carrying any winter weight, or body fat at all.
If only he had stopped there.
To the audiences credit, you might only hear one person laugh out loud during Sams performance.
Now, Im not aLOTRnerd, but isnt Mordor basically hell with dragons?
Its probably not on Ashlees top 10 places to visit list.
Hold up, now weve got ourselves a contender.
So which guys will make it to the next round?
Ashlee chooses Jeremy, Jordan, Leo, and Country Boy!
So sorry, Evan and Sam the singer hey take the stairs back up to your life of anonymity.
Okay, final four time for the dealbreaker questions!
I dont mind at all, Sam replies.
I can make that work.
Jeremy gets the next question, which boils down to What the hell are you doing here?
Short answer: Jeremy wants a dream wedding.
Side note: Where are producers finding all these hardcore religious singles willing to pimp themselves out on TV?
Thats some Emmy-worthy casting right there.
Ashlee saves the toughest question for Jordan: Have you ever hurt somebody in a relationship, and why?
He answers honestly, if not a little obliquely: Yes, he has hurt someone.
No, hes not going to tell us how.
Yes, he learned from it.
No, he will never do it again.
So whos moving on to the final three?
Congrats, Jeremy, Jordan, and Sam.
See you later, Leo.
Perhaps treat yourself to a carb tonight youve earned it.
(Next: Meet the parents!)
Its time for the remaining guys to get grilled by… Ashlees parents?
Welcome, Kelly and Jim!
(Confession: After Sam finished, I may have pulled aFamily Feudand yelled, Good answer!
at my screen.)
So… Ashlee will listen to two proposals and pick one?
Say what you will about traditional gender roles, but sometimes they do make for deliciously awkward TV.
And the final two men are… Jordan and Sam!
Why does Jesse Palmerkeep saying that?
Everyone involved in this show Palmer included has so, so much to be ashamed of!
But whatever, lets move on to the dual proposals.
Ashlee, yo emerge from your pod!
Jordan goes first, and he gushes about being overwhelmed by Ashlees beauty and says shes his dream girl.
That said, hes not quite ready to put a ring on it.
When Ashlee turns back to face Sam, hes down on one knee, ring in hand.
So which will Ashlee choose a journey into engagement with Sam or a fake honeymoon in Fiji with Jordan?
After some dramatic handwringing, survey says… Jordan!
Well, all righty then!
feels like Ashlee and Jordan are now pre-engaged.
So, dear readers, are you still here?
Will you keep watchingThe Proposalagainst your better judgment?
(Sadly, I know I will.)
And when these couples start breaking up, should ABC just send them all toBachelor in Paradise?
Post your thoughts below!
The Proposalairs Mondays at 10 p.m. on ABC.
