In other words, this is as good as it gets kids!

Trust me, the host-turned-reality-check says.

Hopefully I can hold onto his arms!!

making it official that Becca gets excited about all the wrong things on dates.

To make things worse, Becca also doesnt know when to shut up.

Heres the thing about riding a motorcycle: You cant really talk to the other person on the motorcycle.

You both have helmets on, youre sitting behind him, and then theres all the wind.

Yet Becca decides that if she screams loud enough, Arie can hear her.

The world could end today and shed be happy, she says.

(Screw true love!

All Becca needed was a good dress!)

Arie then gives her shoes and jewelry and honestly, this is a terrible date.

The man was leaning in, woman!

She then tells Arie that his eyes suck people in, which doesnt sound at all murder-y.

Apparently those pillow lips are the real deal.

Also, the phrase pillow lips might just be my least favorite thing to happen thus far this season.

(Spoiler: Shes not here for a husband.

Girl just needs a good mechanic.)

(Slow down you mean because you had good brakes that worked and stuff?)

It must be very meaningful to him, Krystal says OF HIS HOME.

But no, this date is all about Arie and only Arie.

Dont you dare pull up a photo on your phone, Krystal.

This is ARIE TIME.

Back at the mansion, someone knocks on the door, which Bibiana says literally sounds likeThe Haunting.

Imagine what she must think of the doorbell.

Sucks to be them!

(Or does it?)

Um, he didnt paint you a picture, HE LITERALLY SHOWED YOU IT.

YOU WERE IN THE PAINTING.

Krystal tells him that her parents divorced when she was young.

The next day, Krystal flips a switch.

The overly nice woman you met on night one is no more.

Did she go to his house?

Whats his life like?

Man, the one time they actually wanted to hear her voice.

Meanwhile, Bekah has the real lucky number 13.

But not everyone is feeling lucky.

Id like to take this moment to address a very important issue affecting society today.

That issue is none other than bumper car trauma.

And no, its not the result of someone getting injured playing bumper cars as a child.

Its not the result of someones parents leaving them at the bumper cars never to return.

Again, she was not hurt when she played bumper cars as a child.

She did not catch fire.

But she was SCARRED.

Now, she does just that, and Arie doesnt flinch.

Turns out, even before he dated Emily, he lived with a woman and her son.

It didnt work out, Arie tells her.

Its as if hes a succubus just trying to get his next meal, and those pillow-y lips?

It appears as if theyre numb and he cant actually feel/move them.

Also, its too slow, dude.

I know youre trying to appear passionate, but I see through your game.

Speed it up and see how the quality falters (even further).

Arie then ends the night by giving the date rose to Seinne before saying fun approximately 1,500 times.

Im easy to hey.

First of all, you always have to have a fur so youre the definition of drama.

Also, I dont need to know about your life in the bedroom.

GIVE ME MORE OF THIS AND LESS KRYSTAL!!

But no…Krystal is back.

And this time, she interrupts the wrong woman.

After days of wanting to talk to Arie, Bibiana finally gets her chance.

What have you been doing, Bibiana?!

And before Bibiana can find out the dogs favorite chew toy, Krystal butts in.

Bibiana isnt going to let her get away with it.

She confronts Krystal after her chat with Arie and even calls her out on her condescending voice.

The best part is that Bibiana actually yells AND MIC DROP as she stands to leave.

If only shed dropped her mic pack at that exact moment.

And now, weve made it to the rose ceremony.

Reminder: Krystal, Becca, and Seinne already have roses.

And thats the end of week two!