It’s two-on-one date time!
Happy two-on-one date week, rose lovers!
But Im getting ahead of myself, apologies.
Credit: Paul Hebert/ABC
But… isnt it hot out?
I feel like were on the same page, Becca coos.
That night, they put on clothes (Coltons shirt has a collar!)
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and head to a fancy dinner at a restaurant called Sage.
Youre making it easier for me to take my walls down, he says.
And she LOVES it.
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Just kidding, there is no such thing.
Its Wayne Newtons palatial Vegas estate.
And of course, Mr. Las Vegas himself arrives on horseback, and is introduced in slo-mo.
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Thats right, Connor its Wayne fing Newton!
Stop staring at his weirdly smooth face and listen to him sing Danke Schoen his lovely wife, Kathleen!
Theres nothing that I heard today that I would rush out on stage and do tonight, says Wayne.
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Lets rejoin the group date, already in progress.
And to be fair, all the guys are horrendously off-key.
Were all equally terrible, Blake says.
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Poor Becca has to sit through nine (!)
It was sexy, she admits.
I was very attracted to it.
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What could possibly be happening right now?
You snooze, you lose, Chris!
Blake has beaten you to the first post-Jean Blanc Im falling in love with you punch!
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Im shook, admits Chris.
I feel like there was no interest there.
Lets leave Chris to his pity party, because its time for the two-on-one date.
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The night before, David was feeling pretty confident about his impending competition with Jordan.
One of us is going home, he told him.
And its certainly not going to be me.
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Its not about quote-unquote winning, he sniffed.
Its about falling in love.
Jordan reminded David that he just referred to the date as a competition, and competitions are won.
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Oooh, sorry, Chicken Man, but the male model definitely got you there!
rooting for the male model on the two-on-one.
The whole settling thing kind of pisses me off a little bit, says Becca, clearly frustrated.
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Hearing these accusations has an interesting effect on Jordan.
First, he tries to laugh it off: Wait, what?
he says with a strained chuckle.
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Everythings just totally manufactured… Davidislying.
His mom has multiple mental illnesses!
He comes from nothing!
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There were times when he didnt even have electricity!
Ive unapologetically been myself, he fumes.
And if David wants to lie, we can go address that.
Thats fine with me.
And Jordan, meanwhile, needs some time to cuss David out.
Being me is my greatest power!
Jordan barks, his voice rising.
Being youisntyour greatest power thats why youve gotta talk about me!
Im such an honest person, he says.
Look, I called you out for the [bleep] that you are.
And thats when Jordan strikes a REALLY low blow.
Can Becca just send both these dumbasses home, just?
Im sure if it were entirely up to her, she would.
I feel like Im back in sixth grade, she tells her idiot dates.
This is frustrating, this is annoying, this is petty.
so Becca tells David its time for them to part our ways.
Bye, Chicken Man!
Dont let the floor hit you in the face on your way out!
That said, their conversation is pretty hilarious.
First they talk about their typical weekend routines.
For Becca, its outdoor time, church, reading in bed.
For Jordan, its basically gym, tanning, laundry.
And then this happens:
Show me your Blue Steel!
Becca urges, clearly just killing time until shes allowed to pack Jordan off to the Reject Limo.
kindly, Team Bachelorette, just end this torture now.
(UntilParadise, of course.)
Becca definitely needs to win me over, he says.
She needs to show me something that says, Chris, I want you here.
Funnily enough, Becca feels the same way about him!
I dont know where his heads at right now, she says.
I want a teammate, 50-50, she says.
And I feel like that night, that didnt happen.
I said, ShouldI go home, because I feel like maybe shes not interested in me.
Liar, liar, hair gel on fire.
Becca knows hes full of crap.
Youve given me a lot that I need to process, she tells him.
Im gonna go, because Im getting frustrated.
At this point, I literally started chanting, Send him home!
She doesnt want me here, man, groans Chris, on the verge of tears.
So what if Becca made it clear that she doesnt want to talk to him right now?
We all know a man is legally allowed to overrule any decision a woman makes!
Wills, irritated but composed, agrees to give Chris two minutes.
(Watch their interaction here.)
You had your time tonight, says Wills.
Id like to have my time as well.
Chris skulks away, and Becca and Wills resume their pleasant conversation.
(Never mind thatno onesaid anything to that effect.)
The old me would have probably left, he says.
But the new me realizes what I have in front of me….
Wait, is the old Chris the Chris from 24 hours ago?
And the new Chris is the Chris from 20 minutes ago?
The only thing thats clear is that no one except possibly producers wants Chris to get a rose tonight.
If its too late forParadise, perhaps well see John again onBachelor Winter Games?
After all, he won the lumberjack competition, so we know hes athletic.
Welp, rose lovers, its time to put Sin City in the rearview mirror.
Before you go, let me know your thoughts about tonights episode.
Is there any chance Becca still likes Chris, or is she just following producers orders?
Do you loves Wills as much as I do?
And how long do you think it took the hotel spa to find a gold face mask for Jordan?
Post your thoughts below!
Now if youll excuse me, Im going to go iron my jeans.
The Bacheloretteairs Mondays at 8 p.m. on ABC.
