A contestant opens up about his demons
Im kind of a germaphobe.
Not a super crazy one, mind you.
Well, on second thought, maybe Iama super crazy one.
Ashley Nolan, Chrissy Hofbeck, and Jessica Johnston on ‘Survivor: Heroes v. Healers v. Hustlers’.Credit: Robert Voets/CBS
When anyone in my family gets sick I basically quarantine myself off from all of them.
I need a hug, only to get the response, Daddys hugs cost $5 billion dollars.
Go see your mother.
Which is why I almost straight-up hurled watching Cole on this latest episode ofSurvivor.
The dude was just licking…everything!
And I realize that maysounddisgusting, but trust me, in this case it was evenmoredisgusting than it sounds.
He was licking spoons.
He was licking fingers.
He was licking jars.
But then I remembered that Canadians arent allowed onSurvivorso there goes that theory.
(Thats so unfair, eh?)
Seriously, what the hell?
Dude, thats rough.
And now other people are expected tousethat spoon?
Honestly, this was my worst nightmare.
Its like the worlds most extreme case of double-dipping.
When will our national nightmare end?)
Every time the camera cut to Cole licking his fingers I threw up a little bit in mouth.
And have you seen me?
Im so scrawny I make Ryan look like the freakin Rock.
I cant afford to starve or else a moderate-to-strong breeze will just carry me away.
Jeez, the licking of the spoon?
Shouldnt the Sex Doctor be weighing in on all of this?
Isnt that why hes there?
Au contraire, mon frere.
Yes, I just ended a sentence in a grammatically incorrect fashion.
Thats how off the chain things are going to get this week!
I can call it amazing because I did not write it.
Rather, former players did.
Thirty-five of them, to be exact.
Lets recap this S.O.B!
And lets be clear: Thats not a dig at Joe.
I wouldnt have shared my idol in that spot either.
First, Probst backed up Joes account in ourweekly Q&A.
So lets give credit where credit is due.
And nor should he have.
(Recap continues on next page)
Bigger Than the GamePowerful.
Thats the only word I can use to describe what happened with Ben here in the cold open.
I have no reference point whatsoever.
Thats because Im way too much of a coward and a chickens.
Im not trying to be funny here.
Im a total wuss.
Their bravery astounds me.
And what so many of them have to deal with when they return is heartbreaking.
Hearing Ben talk so openly and honestly about his experiences returning from combat was super impactful.
Coming back with that stuff its hard, its lonely, and you feel like no one understands.
You cant comprehend it without going through it.
Now, you all know it takesa lotto get me choked up.
But damn if my eyes did not well up during this scene.
Im not saying I cried!
But that is huge for me.
Because Ben is absolutely right.
I used to live in the past.
Thats, like, a major area of concern for me.
I warned you it would be cheesy!
But the sentiment remains.
Which is to say, I loved it.
But who cares about the basket part thats boring.
And really, if were going to be honest, its all about Ryan.
Then it happened again.
And then it happened again.
Terrible for him; fantastic for us.
But was it that terrible for him?
Look, I dont drink coffee so I could not have cared less about this reward.
Youve already weaned yourself off the stuff, so why start back up?
Plus, I choose to stubbornly ignore clinical research and cling to the unfounded belief that caffeine dehydrates you.
Ryan even noted, Its gonna run right through us, and I guaranteethatwill dehydrate you.
So, yeah, Im going to downgrade coffee as an actual reward.
(Spoken with true confidence from the guy writing from the comfort of his air-conditioned living room.)
My point is, you all know my feeling about throwing challenges.
(Im against it.)
If the reward is coffee, is that really worth completely depleting your reserves of energy and stamina?
Its a question I would have asked myself had I been competing.
(Recap continues on next page)
Idol BehaviorSurprise!
I have thoughts about hidden immunity idols!
Shocker, I know.
But heres the thing: Jessica and Sex Doctor went hunting for an idol and found one.
Of course they found one because they knew exactly where to look.
Thats because Cole told them where Joe found his.
And thats because whether he is licking something or spilling secrets, Cole cant keep his mouth shut.
Im actually surprised it took them this long to go get it.
But I dont know how crazy I am about hiding idols in identical spots on opposite beaches.
Isnt that giving too much power to one person just because they found one clue?
Think of it this way: You find a clue to the idol.
The point is, you get the clue.
But were not done.
They just dont know who.
I think there are a lot of layers here worth exploring.
What do you all think?
Hit me up in the message boards or on the Twitter and let me know.
(This means you too, Probst!)
you’ve got the option to never underestimate Dr. Mike, he told us.
Immunity Is Up For GrabsLets give out more props this time toSurvivorchallenge producer John Kirhoffer.
The challenges this season have for the most part been truly bitchin, and this week was no exception.
Such a seemingly simple task that was anything but.
(Recap continues on next page)
Pick Your PoisonSo all it all boils down to this.
Some woman I have never seen before (name of Roark, I think?)
wants Chrissy out, and Ali is on board with that plan.
Plus, theyre both from the Dirty Jers and have to keep it real, Garden State-style.
That poses a problem with what to do at the vote.
So lets go over Ryans choices, because they are kind of fascinating.
Maybe they want him to catch more lobsters.
Maybe theyre hoping hell hop around naked again.
So its either Chrissy or Roark going home.
Lets look at Ryans reasons for each.
Why blow up your safe and proven alliance for an only potential other one?
If you dont vote out Chrissy, you risk Ali never trusting you again.
After all, would you trust her if she lied to and deceived you with this vote?
VOTING OUT ROARKThe Healers are running this game.
Not one single Healer has been voted out.
Not only that, but they have the numbers in the Yawa tribe and are deadlocked on Levu.
That means it is entirely possible that all six of them could make the merge.
So what is the right answer?
I have no idea.
I dont think weve seen enough to give a definitive answer on that.
Also, can we give some props to Chrissy?
(Granted, Im not sure how difficult it is to redirect JP on much of anything.
Look, something shiny!!!!)
But Chrissy is a gamer, through and through.
After all, she even outsmarted Miss Smarty Pants.
The question now becomes: Will she end up out-gaming the guy (Ryan) who just saved her?
Inquiring minds want to know.
I actually feel bad for the woman.
Roark is clearly a big fan.
Shes right, to a degree.
And Roark clearly was outmaneuvered by Chrissy here.
But tribe swap luck does play a big part in who moves on and who moves out.
Still, its nice shes not reaching for excuses.
Okay, to quote the one and only Marty DiBergi, enough of my yappin!
Lets get to the goodies.
We have an exclusive deleted scene from last nights episode you’ve got the option to watch above.
And if you are not checking out myweekly Q&As with Jeff Probstthen you are doing it wrong.
ET, and that will later be available on theEW Morning Livepodcast.
And for moreSurvivorscoop, follow me on Twitter@DaltonRoss.
Did Ryan make the right move?
Were you moved by Bens introspection at the start of the show?
Should they hide idols in identical places?
And what do you think of my idea of hiding an individual immunity in the tribe immunity idol?
Hit the message boards to weigh in and Ill be back next week with another scoop of the crispy!
