One man’s devastation is another man’s good TV
Im going to say something nice about Patrick.
After all, the guy got voted out.
Its literallythe leastI could do.
Credit: Robert Voets/CBS
Its certainly not going to be about his social game, which was clearly terrible.
(So much for the second coming of Stealth R Us.)
ESPECIALLY WHEN LYING IS PART OF THE GAME!!!
Thats my admittedly gamebot approach to things.
But the truth is, I like seeing the emotion.
I like seeing the moral quandaries people put themselves through on this show.
And I like the reactions people have when they feel betrayed, even if I dont agree with them.
I had total trust with Ryan, Devon, and Ali, said Patrick after being blindsided.
Memo to all futureSurvivorcontestants: If you dont want to be lied to, DO NOT PLAY THE GAME!
Its going to happen!
I want mySurvivorcontestants to care.
Because we needthemto care forusto care.
I guess I appreciate the fact that he was at least honest about how despondent he was.
We want the entire emotional spectrum.
Patrick gave us a heaping helping on the low side this week.
So thats my nice thing I said about Patrick.
But I still dont get the hair.
Okay, lets run through some other notable moments from the episode.
Simones ClothesI know a lot aboutSurvivor.
I dont know a lot about fashion.
I actually know nothing about fashion.
But I have to imagine those were some pretty expensive boots that Simone left behind after being voted out.
Apparently, she left pretty much her entire wardrobe, which I dont get.
Sure, her clothes most likely reeked, but isnt that what the wash is for?
Seems like a waste to leave them.
Finally Simone is showing her worth in some capacity, he says.
(It seems being a successful firefighter is all about the length of your hose, am I right?
No, seriously, am I?
I have no idea.
Hey, Im not the one with the dirty mind!
Just listen to what Ashley told us.
JP is becoming dreamier and dreamier as the days go on.
Shes the one talking about size, and spears, and things happening inside of her, not me!
Ashley keeps lobbying Ben to keep JP instead of Alan.
The problem is her approach.
And all this does is further solidify to Ben that Ashley and JP are indeed a power couple.
The closer she makes herself appear with JP, the less Ben wants to keep her.
Then again, Alan cant even open a coconut, so who knows.
(Recap continues on next page)
Like a VirginReality televisionlooooooooovesvirgins.
This look-but-dont-touch relationship dates maybe not the best term all the way back to Jason inBig Brother 3.
(Im going to leave that one alone.)
But Jessica is as smitten as a kitten when it comes to Cole.
(Not as much power as the idol itself, it should be pointed out, but okay.)
So good move, Cole.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!?
Dude, this game is all about timing, and your timing isterrible.
Again, I like the plan, but you only unfurl said plan once you better unfurl said plan.
Apparently, Cole is awful at keeping secrets.
No more kisses for you, mister!
A Challenging SituationThis felt like an old-schoolSurvivorchallenge.
Going over and under obstacles, knocking stuff down, and then stacking them back up.
A critical error on his part.
Heres the thing: I get it.
Patrick is clearly a competitive dude and wanted to help his team win.
He didnt want to accept failure and wanted to power his team through to victory.
I just kept digging.
In a situation like this, it’s crucial that you consider the ramifications if you are unsuccessful.
Quite simply, its called hedging your bets.
Call it cowardly if you want, but I call it smart.
And it also comes with the added benefit of making you look like a team player.
So it ends up being a win-win, even if it means your tribe loses.
Speaking of losing things, the Healers lost out on first place when they misplaced one of their blocks.
But instead he proclaimed something else.
Something is not right!
Interesting that Probst did not tell the tribe specifically what was wrong and instead made them figure it out.
I sort of like it.
It would have been easy for him to say, No, you have one block missing!
Lets see if the Healers can heal this situation!
And I like it.
Its a small thing, to be sure, but one I enjoyed.
Lauren is just not having it with that guy.
before voting his ass out.
Instead she hit back with, You cant justify it.
On the other hand, Patrick still doesnt really get it.
Lauren is not happy with me, he told us.
But by looking at her, I dont think that her coming in for me would have changed much.
Wow, so much for not judging a book by its cover.
Dude, didnt you hear?
She played centerfield for 25 years!
We know because she only told us about 25 times!
Well, that seems unnecessarily cruel.
There areplentyof trustworthy redheads!
Who cares if they all happen to be animated?
What (and where) exactly is she hiding?
Personally, Ive always been a fan of redheads so cant cosign Laurens follicle prejudice on this one.
Sad, but funny.
However, what I really want to find out is:DoesJeff Probst know somebody?
He must, right?
After all, Jeff Probst knows everybody!
He came to ourSurvivorviewing party!
We sang Hall & Oates at karaoke together!
Or Yeah, Ive met Probst.
(Especially for a guy who is not in town all that often.)
I dont even think Ryan is being that picky here.
Just a name and a number, thats all he asks.
(Stage name: Ginger Ail).
I think Patrick was legitimately shocked and legitimately hurt.
That sucks for him.
But it also makes good TV, and sorry, but I like good TV.
So were left with that tantalizing tease that next week the tribes will be realigned somehow.
15 is an odd number to do it on literally and it could go one of two ways.
Remember: Always bet against Dalton Ross predictions when it comes to this show.
But here are some things youcanbet on.
Okay, now itsyourturn.
Did the Hustlers make the right move in ditching Patrick instead of Lauren?
Happy a tribe-swap is coming?
And are you loving or loathing the new showmance couple of Cole and Jessica?
Hit the message boards to weigh in and Ill be back next week with another scoop of the crispy!
