But you have to promise not to tellanyonebecause its supes embarrassing.
I once had a rat tail.
Now, in my defense, I didnt know I had a rat tail.
Credit: Robert Voets/CBS
I didnt ask for a rat tail.
At first, I thought he meant something gross.
Then I thought he just meant a special super-good haircut.
(They did not carryPlayboyatMon Salon.)
It was only then when I saw what that fake French bastard had done to me.
But it was too late.
The damage had been done.
I had been permanently blemished.
Cole already told you?!
I knew I couldnt trust that guy!
THAT SON OF A BITCH!
THAT MISERABLE GOOD-FOR-NOTHING LOUSE!
DAMN HIM TO HELL!!!
What the funk is wrong with that dude?
Homie cant keep his mouth shut.
Last week he needlessly started telling everyone about Joes hidden immunity idol and how they should get him out.
The plan wasnt that bad, actually, but the timing was terrible.
Now, I could quibble with telling the Sex Doctor.
What if he was planning to bolt?
No real reason to include him in that conversation, but whatever.
So then, for some inexplicable reason, Cole goes and decides to tell the opposition about Jessicas advantage.
Jessicas secret is kind of like my olive branch to give to people, Cole says.
I can extend this information and maybe theyll see me as more trustworthy.
Okay, first of all, it is most assuredly NOT your olive branch to give.
Second, you dont need them to trust you.
You needyour allianceto trust you!
Even Lauren was like, Why is he telling me this?
Information is power, and Cole keeps giving his and Jessicas power away.
It was a downright bizarre move.
Its also the reason I dont think I could be allies with Cole in this game.
Dangerous, but yes, also hilarious.
The scene where Sex Doctor swam out to tell Jessica that Lauren knew about the advantage was priceless.
At first, Cole completely denied telling her.
That serves me no benefit to tell her, he said.
I mentioned it to Ben.
Dude, you cant even lie well!
You either tell the truth or you commit to the lie none of this in-between garbage.
God, Cole you are so infuriating for such a seemingly pleasant, well-meaning person.
Im not the bad guy,yourethe bad guy!
Because this is really bad gameplay that is undermining the person most important to you in the game.
Something seismic may have just happened onSurvivor, ladies and gentlemen.
We knowSurvivorhas gone a little advantage crazy lately.
We had three different advantages last season, and now two this season already in the first four episodes.
Im of two minds about this.
I like having one advantage a season, but I think doing any more than that is overkill.
into the proceedings, which often comes at the expense of skill and solid gameplay.
So I do think the show needs to tone it down a bit with the Advantagepalooza.
Sometimes less can be more.
(Jessica chose to block him once the new Levu tribe lost the immunity challenge.
What if Devon had sided with the Healers instead and then Jessica nullified his vote?
But lets look deeper into how this could potentially play out moving forward with a sight tweak.
So there was no choice involved on his part.
But what if there was?
Lets say you are on season 37 ofSurvivor.
Well call itSurvivor: Liberals v. Moderates v. Conservatives.
Shoot, thats season 38.
I forgot, season 37 is actuallySurvivor: Jocks v. Jerks v. Jesuits.
Plus, he was All-State in basketball, sowhats that all about???
freezes on the word puzzle that was supposed to spell out A Date With Me at Tribal Council.
With that, we could possibly be entering into a new era ofSurvivor.
In the past, whenever you found or played something, it was to your benefit.
Might we see that start to extend intoSurvivoras well?
It certainly offers a potentially interesting twist.
You have a power that could help you or hurt you.
The producers have an opportunity to try something out here in the future.
But now that thishashappened, what does the next person do?
A new era inSurvivortwistery may have just dawned.
(Recap continues on page 3)
Drop Your BuffsIts a weird thing to say drop your buffs.
And it sounds a bit dirty too.
Roark and Devon were alone on their new tribes, but that just makes them valuable swing votes.
And, as mentioned, Roark is probably safe as the swing vote on that tribe anyway.
The only other thing I noticed about the tribe swap is how uninvested I was in the results.
Why am not head over heals in love with this cast?
They seem nice enough.
But this group just appears to lack a certainje ne sais quoi.
Perhaps this is anotherMillennials vs. Gen Xsituation where it gains momentum and gets better as it goes along.
Or, perhaps not.
Like I said, it was fine.
Not the best of the season because there have been some super-cool challenges so far but fine.
Chrissy and Ryan solidified their Garden State connection (exit 151 comin at ya!)
when Ryan informed her that he bestowed upon her the super idol advantage.
But why get hung up on the details!
So hugs followed and Chrissy told us she now felt loved.
Awwww….To quote the Church Lady: Well, isnt that special.
Not that I want that to happen.
So if youre Chrissy, what do you do?
Like I said, tough call.
That doesnt necessarily sound super exciting, but it played out nicely.
First off, Devon got hit by a pole in his…um, pole.
It was the throw in ofSurvivorcrotch busting usually reserved for blindfolded challenges.
And the net was really low and looked really difficult.
No crotch injuries on that portion, unfortunately, but still pretty cool.
took second place, leaving the Blue Man (and Woman) Group as the losers.
Oh, in the hidden Easter eggs department, it seems that Jeff Probst and Dave Grohl are bros.
They like to prank each other and do other stuff that bros do.
(If I had a bro, I would totally do this kind of stuff as well.
Im super jealous.)
I have to say, its pretty seamless.
I mean, its not like he just started yelling out Weenie Beenie or Hey, Johnny Park!
That would make no sense.
It doesnt work like that.
The song titles have to make sense, and he worked them in pretty well.
(it’s possible for you to watch a clip of the secret shenanigans above.
)(Recap continues on page 4)
Joe Puts on a ShowSometimes its all in the delivery.
Joes plan to tell Devon that the Heroes wanted him out was not a bad one.
Devon was the swing and Joe needed to bring him over to their side.
Easiest way to do that is to make him think the other people want him out.
But often its notwhatyoure saying buthowyou say it.
In trying to get Devon to buy the lie, Joe made the mistake of overselling it.
Joes a snake and I dont like having snakes around.
Hey, who does?
Certainly not one Indiana Jones, thats for sure.
So I dont hate Joes move, just his execution.
And this was only the start of the good idea/bad follow-through on Joes part.
But again, Joe was unable to calibrate with any subtlety whatsoever.
I guarantee you that.
It makes absolutely no sense.
And do you know what makes evenlesssense?
Not throwing the votes on him!
The only thing missing was a vial of iocane powder and this whole ridiculous situation would have been complete.
So all that was left was to see whom he would actually end up playing it for.
Of course, this being Joe, he had to make a huge spectacle while doing it.
I got something for you, Jeff, he announced as the votes were about to be read.
I can keep it for myself or give it to somebody, he announced to no one in particular.
(Seriously, who was he taking to there?)
Then, after a super long pause.
Ill keep it for myself.
OF COURSE YOU WILL!
Joe does not have the DNA of a guy who would hand his idol over to someone else.
Because if he did, and they voted for him, it would haunt him until his dying breath.
Farewell to AlanCrazy Joe being safe meant that crazy Alan had to go.
To his credit, Alan did not seem bitter about what transpired.
He gave Joe credit for playing a hell of game and admitted that they got him.
I have no idea.
So that makes two advantages that have yet to impact the game at all.
(Although the seeds of Ryan gifting his now-powerless idol to Chrissy could still bear fruit later.)
Okay, time for goodies.
All sorts of goodies!
That interview can also be found later on theEW Morning Livepodcast.
Okee dokee, now itsyourturn.
Do you think Joe ever had any intention of giving his idol to Desi?
Would you trust Cole in an alliance to keep his yap shut?
Hit the message boards to weigh in and Ill be back next week with another scoop of the crispy.
