And theres a reason for that.
Teenagers are convinced they know everything when they, in fact, know nothing.
I was a certified idiot when I was a teenager.
Credit: Robert Voets/CBS
I was utterly insufferable back then, making me only slightly more sufferable now as an adult.
So teenagers were not exactly thought of super highly back then, is what Im getting at.
But thats changed lately.
Were constantly watching incredible young actors or hearing incredible young singers whose poise seems to defy their age.
And now you have one of the youngest players inSurvivorhistory pulling off a sage strategic maneuver.
(Do kids still say props, by the way?)
Michael not only looks older than his years, he acts like it as well.
He told everyone in the game he was 23 when they landed on the beach.
Michael didnt want that to happen to him.
And it was a lie that made sense.
But his savviness clearly did not end there.
Last week we saw Michael find a hidden immunity idol.
And not just any hidden immunity idol, but one of Gravedigger James unused idols fromSurvivor: China.
I say one of and idols because James went home with two idols in his pocket that season.
Well, notliterallyin his pocket.
Those idols are massive.
They would never fit.
Implying they would shows no mastery of spatial relations whatsoever.
But thats not the point.
Well, cant say I didnt warn you.
Ah, but his opponents didnt know that.
So then Michael did something very, very sneaky.
Thats a damn good lie.
Thats because I have yet another Unsolicited Dalton Ross Show SuggestionTM.
And here it is:Survivorshould get rid of the notes that come with the idols.
But they should then be instructed to get rid of the note after reading it.
That sucker should self-destruct in five seconds,Mission: Impossiblestyle.
Why is this important?
Right now, players are just too smart.
And, from a viewers perspective, successful bluffing is the stuff of dreams.
Just go back two weeks to see a perfect example.
What if there were no notes?
Could that have changed the calculation on Malolos decision?
(Recap continues on next page)
Thereby concludes this weeks Unsolicited Dalton Ross Show SuggestionTM.
Now back to Michael.
He got lucky nobody asked to see the note.
So its not like we all need to bow down and worship at the altar of the next greatSurvivorstrategist.
But it was still a really nice play from a really young kid.
Lets see if you’re able to regroup.
Make your voice heard byvoting right hereand well tabulate and reveal the results soon.
Okay, more recap comin at you in 3…2…1…
WrestlemaniaIt started inSurvivor: Thailand.
Remember when Robb with two Bs strangled little Clay in something calledthe Attack Zoneduring a challenge?.
But the physical melee that seems to have truly stood the test of time is the kill-each-other-in-the-water-while-ostensibly-attempting-to-drag-a-ring-to-a-pole challenge.
It is the one that has both ripped people of their dignity and ripped Michaelas top from her body.
And here it is again.
Theres always a risk vs. reward calculus that needs to be solved on reward challenges.
At least I would.
Even Desirees choke job on Laurel couldnt stop the former Division 1 athlete.
(How often does Probst have to tell people to stop choking or take it down a notch?
I asked him in this weeks Q&A.)
Anyway, Naviti won.
To Play or Not to Play?Everyone knows you dare not tempt theSurvivorgods!
They are the ones who make the heavens open just seconds before a challenge.
They are the ones who verify anyone who utters the words Tonights Tribal Council should be a breeze!
In fact, dare I say Im excited to go!
is immediately voted out.
(That is so Probst for him to be the only person to bepositivelyaffected by theSurvivorgods.
DAMN HIM AND HIS HANDSOMENESS!)
In any event, ignore Probst for a minute.
The point is, you dont tempt or spite theSurvivorgods!
And yet that is exactly what Kellyn did.
So naturally that is exactly what happened as she pulled the white rock.
In essence, there was no margin for error.
That one vote could tip the balance over to the other side.
As a viewer, this presented quite the dilemma.
On one hand, the sound strategic decision would clearly be to NOT risk losing the vote.
I like it when people do the smart thing, especially folks Im rooting for like ugly-baby-hating Kellyn.
As someone who would just as soon never leave my house, I amallabout living vicariously through others.
Im actually even worse than that.
Choosing NOT to play was definitely the boring thing to do, but it was also the right thing.
And, overall, I was happy to see her make that choice.
So what was Chris reaction?
Oh my God, that is so awful.
Are you okay?[Nope.
]Dont worry about them, Angela.
The rest of us have your back.[Nope.
What do you want to do about it?
What are you thinking?[Nope.]
No, Chris said none of those things.
Here is what he said instead.
Well, obviously theyre trying to take me out if theyre trying to take you out.
God, I love that.
Now, dont get me wrong.
Thatshouldbe Chris primary concern.
But that doesnt mean you say it out loud!
Empathy, my man!
At least fake it!
Of course you do!
I basically have realized I just want an iso cam on Chris 24-7 out there.
Wherever he goes, I will follow.
Whatever he says, I will listen.
Whomever he ignores while talking about himself, I will ignore along with him.
But anything is possible when youre on a tribe with Chris Noble!
Sometimes all you have to do is sit back and let him work his magic.
I love all four of these folks, so watching them team up would be a positive delight.
That said, what the hell are Laurel and Donathan thinking?
Isnt Chrisexactlythe key in of guy you want to be with in this situation?
It shouldnt be about whom youlike, but rather whom you canbeat.
Then again, Dom cant keep his mouth shut.
Maybe jot down his social security number and debit card password in the sand while hes at it?
Still, I just dont get Laurel and Donathans move here.
Domenick and Wendell were both really close to being my pick to win before the game started.
On the flip side, Chris and Angela were my pick to be the first two out.
(AndProbst seemed to be in agreement.)
Which is exactly why those should be the two you align with at this point.
(Recap continues on next page)
Dont Call It a Comeback (Why Not?
)The immunity challenge was a remarkable comeback that nobody saw coming!!!!
And that told you everything you needed to know.
Malolo was going to lose.
So it was clear what was going to happen.
Maybe you didnt notice it.
So I was bummed.
I knew as soon as it started that Malolo was going to lose.
This could have been an instant classic!
Only the ending was kind of ruined before it even started.
Im not trying to bash the editors at all.
Those all needed coverage.
A Noble outing, indeed!
Personally, I just thought she was practicing in case Ghost Island also happened to resurrect the infamous S.O.S.
Hes a little annoying.
He does like to play that leader role.
Hes like a dad that gives terrible pep talks, which is fine.
Because the Malolo can go no further low low than the Malolo low.
I dont even know what that means.
Is this a limbo competition all of a sudden?
Is he misquoting the Beastie Boys Slow and Low?
I just dont understand what is happening!
Do I need to consume a bunch banana-flavored Laffy Taffy to decipher what Sea Bass is talking about?
And is banana-flavored Laffy Taffy a code word for marijuana?
Goodbye, BrendanSo the most embarrassing streak in modern day reality television show coverage continues.
With Brendans ouster, that makes 21 straight seasons I have inaccurately predicted the winner of aSurvivorseason.
Im not proud of this fact, but it just is what it is at this point.
But when I go on location and make my predictionbeforethe game even begins, well…thats on me.
So my apologies for jinxing you, Brendan.
Okay, well get the hell out of here soon enough.
And for moreSurvivorscoop, follow me on Twitter@DaltonRoss.
Happy or sad that Kellyn did not risk it all at Ghost Island?
Could you tell from the edit that Malolo would lose the immunity challenge?
And whom would you side with if you were Laurel and Donathan?
Hit the message boards to weigh in and Ill be back next week with another scoop of the crispy!
