Cmon in, guys!
Well now welcome my can of Pabst Blue Ribbon returning from Ghost Island…also known as my refrigerator.
Okay, a newSurvivorrecap is up for grabs.
Credit: CBS
Ah, but if it were only that simple.
Because you know this shows motto: EXPECT THE UNEXPECTED!!!!
Wait, no, thats another shows motto.
What I meant to say was…DROP YOUR BUFFS!!!!
No, thats not right either.
Weve already done that too many times this season.
All genuinely nice people, but not exactly a tribe chock full o powerhouses.
The bad news was they doubled their chance of being voted out to 20 percent as well.
If you released the pressure from the bar, the ball would drop and you were out.
The Purple folks actually equated themselves pretty well in this one.
Eventually it came down to Chelsea vs. Angela.
Yet out of nowhere, Angelas ball rolled all the way out on her first slip.
Is this an asterisk situation?
Is it now one-and-a-half immunity wins in a row for her?
The problem with Chelsea winning immunity, however, is that it left a humungous What If?
What if Chelsea had not been safe?
Well never know, but with her safe, thats the way things looked to shake out.
However, Donathan had an ace up his sleeve which is to say an idol down his pants.
Some people go front of the pants.
I love the zero hesitation on Donathans part.
I could not have been more wrong.
Hes there to win.
And I like it.
Jenna then threw Donathan under the bus and asked Naviti to vote him out.
Sea Bass was then all Huh?
Did you say something?
How low go Malolo go go, dont you know know?
Then Donathan had a momentary lapse of Malolo pride as images of Jeffrey Probst whispering BIG MOVEZZZZZZZZZ!
(Whether she said this with Resting Bitch Face on not remains up for debate.)
The vote is already in?
THEY HAVENT EVEN SAT DOWN YET!
HOW COULD THEY ALREADY HAVE VOTED?
But I swear it seems like thats what happened.
So Im ready to vote.
Which may be the weirdest thing Ive ever seen.
You work every angle and every insecurity it’s possible for you to until your torch has been snuffed.
Thelast thingyou do is ask to get right to the vote.
As a side note, Id like to apologize for using the word tingling.
For thing, its way to close to tinkling and tinkling is a gross word.
What were we talking about again?
He didnt, and she was voted out.
Im not going to blame him for that.
Better to be safe than sorry.
Just ask The Noble One.
Instead, she had to go immediately sit on the jury for the Orange Tribal Council to follow.
Thats straight up brutal.
And, to make matters even worse, she didnt even get her final words.
NoWow, that was a total blindside.
Did not see that coming.
Man,Survivoris so cruel, which is probably why I love it.
Lets hope her intuition is better this week!
And that, ladies and gentlemen, is what we call ironic foreshadowing.
Ive heard a few theories as to this.
And yet others have suggested it is rigged for men to find them.
(Its not.)
It was still phony baloney.
But at least it was Doms phony baloney to do with as he saw fit.
then youre kind of out of luck at this point.
(Now go watch Angela or someonetotallyfall for this in two weeks.)
Lets go to the immunity challenge.
Now the rules for this one were…you know what?
Just go back and read the description from the Purple Recap.
Its the exact same thing.
Although it played out a bit differently here.
Seriously, this was one of the biggest brodown throwdowns I have ever seen.
Just bros being bros. A little good-natured competition complete with its own brocabulary soundtrack.
But as humorous as that was, good on Michael for trying.
Why not, right?
I mean, that wouldneverwork!………Sorry, whats that?
Kellyn fell for it, you say?
Nope, no chance.
I was yelling at Kellyn ASK TO SEE IT!
Domenick was telling Kellyn Ask to see it.
Even Michael himself was likely saying, You know, you should probably ask to see it.
Because why in the name of Tata the Bushman would you ever believe him otherwise?
No reason at all.
I dont know whats going on with Kellyn here.
And yet now she was way too easily scared off the plan by a pretty lame and undercooked ruse.
(Recap continues on next page)
So where would the votes fall?
Hopefully on nobody because I was really not ready for any of these five to leave.
They have each brought something different to this season and I appreciate them all.
Like, why would anyone do that?
(And how much did it freak her out when she found out later he was barely legal?)
Kellyns goofiness is endearing at least it is to me.
Maybe Im just a weirdo.
Thats because Kellyn used her extra vote advantage.
Michael was an impressive player.
He didnt look 18 and he didnt act 18 either.
He wasnt just good at finding idols, he was also good at using leverage orperceivedleverage.
(Which is probably why everyone hugged him instead of Jenna on the way out.)
In all those cases, you just have to adapt on the fly and manage as best you might.
Fair?Survivorstopped being fair a long time ago.
So deal with it, hope for the best, while simultaneously planning for the worst.
So yeah, Im good with the weird post-merge temporary tribe division.
At least not yet.
Thats because we have our exclusive deleted scene as well as other video goodies you should check out.
Plus, youll want to read ourweekly Q&Awith Hostmaster General Jeff Probst.
And for even more fun, go back andcast your fan votefor everySurvivorfinal Tribal Council winner ever.
(Well reveal the results soon.)
And we have your exit interviews with forMichaelandJennaright here as well.
Plus, for all yourSurvivorscoop, follow me on Twitter@DaltonRoss.
Did you like the temporary tribe division?
Sorry to see Michael and/or Jenna go?
Hit the message boards to weigh in and Ill be back next week with another scoop of the crispy!
