What exactly are they?
And how much do wereallyknow about them?
(Example: Ewwwwww, boys have cooties.
“Blood of a Blindside” — Kelly Wentworth on the tenth episode of SURVIVOR: Edge of Extinction, airing Wednesday, April 17th (8:00-9:00 PM, ET/PT) on the CBS Television Network. Photo: Screen Grab/CBS Entertainment é2019 CBS Broadcasting, Inc. All Rights Reserved.Screen Grab/CBS
)However, the affliction is usually found only in select identified individuals.
(Example [in sing-song voice]: Sally Jane has cooties!
Sally Jane has cooties!)
And they are spreading… even onto our favorite television program.
(Incidentally,Stephen Fishbachwarned us about this four years ago.)
It has to be cooties.
Orrrrrrrrrr… heres another theory.
The new generation ofSurvivorfan no longer wants to watch the favorite get a fast-pass to the finals.
First, a little background.
There was a time when it seemed like allSurvivorever did was stage seasons that combined returning players and newbies.
Along withSurvivor: GuatemalaandSurvivor: Micronesia, there were seven seasons in whichSurvivormixed old and new players.
Meanwhile, a startling 11 out of 39 returnees 28.2 percent made it all the way to the end.
That means returning players were 3.5 times more likely to make it to day 39 than newbies.
Not exactly a level playing field.
Because if you dont know your history, you are doomed to repeat it.Survivorcontestants have evolved since then.
They are, on the whole, far savvier than the players of yesteryear.
And then there is this: There are 14 new players this season.
That gave them a chance to strategize and think about how they wanted to handle them.
And that plan/philosophy was simple: Get rid of them.
And now they are.
Either the mandate was clear when the season began, or they all have cooties.
Instead, lets get to the other major moments of this weeks episode.
If you went too high, your urn dropped.
If you went too low, your flag popped up.
I just dont get it.
We know Lauren is a warrior, pushing herself to the point of passing out in a recent challenge.
Nobody questions Kelley Wentworths will to win this game.
Ron seems singularly focused on victory as well.
Victoria is a bit of an enigma, but she doesnt appear to be there to coast either.
Im not trying to minimize their hunger out there, but I was pretty shocked.
Also, newsflash:Survivorpizza is usually kinda gnarly.
Its cold and somewhat congealed from sitting out there for a while.
Suffice it to say, this is not fresh out of the brick oven.
Something as simple as that or a bead of sweat can undo someone in an endurance challenge.
It eventually came down to David vs. Goliath… wait, thats not right.
I wont survive if I dont have it so Im not going down.
Sorry, indeed, David, because YOU JUST GOT REEMED!!!
And not even by Reem herself!
You got Reemed by association!
The Reem virus is spreading!
And she wasnt lying either, as David dropped 22 minutes in, giving Aurora the victory.
If Aurora wasnt winning challenges or giving away alliance voting plans I dont know that wedeversee her this season.
To save himself, David had to convince others that the Lesu 3 needed to be broken up.
And if that meant recycling the same words over and over, then so be it.
And this is that conversation.
Hold the phone, David Wright!
I thought you alreadyhadthat conversation with Rick Devens by the water well.
How many conversations can one man remember?
So David worked on Julie and then Ron, giving them a big decision to make.
How about both?!
Its 2019, Ron.
Get freaky with it, my man!
Just put on a little Barry White and see where the evening takes you.
I kid about that pilotpassenger stuff, but this castneverkids when it comes to that.
And they always need to expand the analogy one extra unnecessary step every time they bring it up.
And, in their defense, it is pretty absurd.
Perhaps I should have had a different conversation with myself before making it.
Bottle EpisodeOff to Edge of Extinction David went, and so did we.
We must have seen that a million times.
I mean, not specifically by where people go to the bathroom in the ocean.
That was a terrible example on my part.
I dont know why I used it.
Clearly, there is something wrong with me.
Finally, it was David who found it hidden in the rocks.
And there was no doubt to whom that advantage would go.
Its All Ball Bearings These DaysJeff Probstknows what hes doing.
You cant convince me he doesnt.
I mean, just listen to the guy…
Devens, toss me one of your balls.
Are you telling me he doesnt know exactly what he is saying?
This is the same guy who picks up and picks apart every single syllable at Tribal Council.
The only time this guy slips is if a giant wave is smashing into him during a challenge.
He is totally messing with us.
Lets enter Exhibit B into evidence…
Ron, working on his second ball.
Its like hes winking at us right through the TV screen.
Theres no chance he is not 100% aware of the multiple contexts at play here.
Rather than shy away from the double entendres, he just leans right into them.
Youre still not convinced?
Okay, try this one on for size then…
Now hes got two balls on the move!
I mean, for chrissakes, cmon!
How much more proof do you need?Hes got two balls on the move?
!How did that even make it past the CBS censors?
Oh, by the way, Rick won the challenge.
Why Probst at some point did not say Devens is missing one of his balls!
The Wardog StrikesThe Wardog does not know how to jump into water.
The Wardog does not know how to throw a ball.
The Wardog often does not know how to speak in the first person.
But The Wardog knows how to make a splash.
That had been his big selling point to Kama Control on why they should stick with them loyalty.
Maybe even sniff loyaltys butt, but definitely pee on it.
Thats because now The Wardog wanted to take his biggest ally out of the game.
And that wasnt even the weirdest thing to happen to Ron that afternoon.
Just gave it to him.
Said that if she got voted out that he could keep it.Well, that was odd,I thought.
On the surface, its a terrible move.
Aurora no doubt felt like she was the one about to be voted out.
you’re free to hear it in the words she is saying to Ron.
She firmly believed she was going.
(Also not saying Iloveit, but desperate times call for desperate measures.
Also, it got her a few extra seconds of screen time, so theres that.)
I have no doubt that has happened before, and it may have just happened here.
Contestants are constantly told they need to make big moves in this game to win.
It is drilled into them over and over.
But they want that rush.
And they want to kindly viewers.
And they want to kindly Probst.
So the big moves happen.
Whats not to love?
Besides, you know, losing a million dollars because of it.
But that wasnt the only big split of the night.
For Ron and his ride-or-die to find themselves on different sides of the vote is potentially very significant.
Will Julie have another #SurvivorBreakdown?
Will she rant about Kama Control?
Will she pee on herself again?
But heres what else you have to look forward tothisweek.
We have an exclusive deleted scene from the episode above.
And Hostmaster General Jeff Probst weighs in on David and Kelleys ousters inour weekly Q&A.
Do you miss Jeffs final words of wisdom that have been absent all season?
Then youll want toread ourEW Investigatesexposeinto what happened to them this season.
And then theres the whole social media thing.
And for moreSurvivorscoop, hit me on the Twitter@DaltonRoss.
Okay, now itsyourturn.
Did The Wardog make the right call in ousting Kelley?
Are you loving or loathing that all the returning players have been voted out?
And are cooties real?
Hit the message boards to weigh in and Ill be back next week with….
There will be no scoop of the crispy next week!
Ill actually be on vacation with the family trying my best to unplug.
So thanks to Patrick, and Ill see you all in two weeks!
