Theres this funk band from the 1970s called Graham Central Station, and theyre awesome.
Anyhoodle, I have a lot of Graham Central Station records, including one calledRelease Yourself.
That one is a little problematic.
Credit: Robert Voets/CBS
It repeats the same groove over and over.
As I said, problematic.
I bring this up because I am about to sound a bit likeRelease Yourself.
I must like that line a lot because Ive used it ad nauseam.
This is the fifth seasonSurvivorhas done some form of this, so you longtime readers (Anyone?
have endured this speech way too often, so Ill attempt to keep it brief.
(Stop laughing!)
Aubry Bracco was blindsided!
They voted Aubry out instead!
Not only that, she had an idol AND an advantage in her pocket!
Now all three are gone!
What an incredible moment!
It was so incredible that I keep using exclamation points to end every single sentence!
Only, guess what?
(The idol and advantage are.
I confirmed that with Probst.
But not Aubry.)
The Aubry vote-off should have been earth-shattering.
The first returning player in the game to be voted out.
If you love Aubry, then youre devastated.
Either way, it should be a HUGE moment.
Because it was not definitive and nor was it final.
Thats what we end on, and it pales in terms of emotional impact.
Sure, there have been moments at Edge of Extinction.
Not in my book.
I know there are people out there who track screen time and confessionals.
I am confident their number is higher than that and that the newbies have been suffering because of it.
I bet that number issuuuuuuuuperlow.
In my book, it hasnt yet.
It has a half-season left to convince me.
Okay, lets get through the rest of this weeks news and nonsense.
Falling to EarthIm not too proud to admit I think watching people fall is hilarious.
I mean, its not like Iwantthem to get hurt.
Im just being honest here.
(Just imagine if Lauren had actually addressed him properly and yelled: Dammit, The Wardog!
I definitely would have done more than smiled in that case.)
Oh, wait, thats not true.
I also remember Lauren yelling Go, Wardog!
as he scrambled slowly underneath an obstacle.
Basically, I remember anything that has anything to do with yelling at The Wardog.
Julia Speaks!Stop the presses!
In a seemingly brand-new twist,Survivorair-lifted a contestantintothe game to start five episodes in.
Meet Julia Carter, everyone!
I met Julia the day before the game when we sat down and had a lovely chat.
The camera will love her, I thought.
But then Julia disappeared and we had not heard from her since.
I mean that literally.
I dont think she has said a single word all season.
Julie then says the same thing.
Water WorldThe moment where Aubry was talking about the chickens and then a chicken walked into frame was classic.
The moment where Wentworth described David as worthless was harsh.
But Im skipping over all of that because we have a bona fide water challenge, people.
And it is an awesome one.
Thats because people have to swim.
And leap off a ledge.
And then pull a pontoon (and how great is the word pontoon, by the way).
It all finishes with a puzzle, that sadly, does not need to be done in the water.
(I have actually pitched an underwater puzzle to challenge producer John Kirhoffer.
Think about how cool that would be.
It combines both mental and physical.
Thats actually a pretty decent idea, right?)
But even without the underwater puzzle solving, this is still pretty dope.
Aurora couldnt do it.
Aubry couldnt do it.
And not a single person from Lesu could get it.
(Sorry about that, by the way.)
But it wasnt over.
Because say it with me ITS ALL ABOUT THE PUZZLE!
But not this time.
What in the blazes is going on here!
I DONT EVEN KNOW WHAT SHOW I AM WATCHING ANYMORE!
Revenge of the NewbiesThat Victoria is a crafty one.
She kept looking away.
As soon as I watched this scene, I knew Aubry was done.
Unless she picked up on the same thing I did and used her idol.
Aubry got got by the newbies.
So off to the Edge of Extinction she went.
Rick decoded the map.
But then he went and told everyone else.
This was a highly debatable move on Keiths part.
On one hand, if theres some sort of advantage out there, go get that sucker!
(Remember, the Outcasts on Pearl Islands voted people back into the game.)
I get why Keith took off, but I wouldnt have done it.
Too many unknown variables to risk pissing everyone else off.
And thats what Keith did.
Dude, on the scale of coolness, Chris is freakin frigid at this point compared to you.
He gave it to Aubry.
We know how that worked out.
Then we got more EOE action on day 16, including, yes, more maps.
These maps had holes in them, and nobody could really figure it out.
Instead, Reem was strolling out in the water when she just happened to walk upon the prize.
And not unlike Rick a few days before, she couldnt keep her mouth shut.
What is that, dude?
So after hearing that, Keith walked over and claimed it for himself easy peasy.
Do I have complete idiot written across my forehead?
Youre getting on my fing nerves, she yelled.
And then she yelled some more.
Sorry, Chris, but… YOU JUST GOT REEMED!
When I spoke to Reem before the game she went onat lengthabout how she could not stand sensitive people.
As Aubry so succinctly noted after showing up at EOE: It is a disaster here.
The Wardog Gets Yelled At…AgainMan, Lauren sure does love to berate The Wardog in challenges.
Come on, Wardog!
she snapped again in the second reward challenge for coffee and pastries.
In her defense, his attempts to throw sandbags at spinners was… less than good.
Wardogs throwing motion resembled my mute cat swatting at a fly.
Wardog threw low and Wardog threw lower.
(I just hope Kelley doesnt accuse him of throwing like a girl.)
Anyway, Joey Amazing won again and Lesu got last place.
And back at camp, Wentworth, David, and Lauren were all getting sick of The Wardogtatorship.
(Ugh, I tried to combine Wardog and dictatorship into one word and it kinda didnt work.
My bad on that one.
But not unlike theSurvivorproducers, you better keep trying new things.
Sometimes they work, and sometimes you come up with The Wardogtatorship.
The cost of doing business.)
Also he kinda sucks at these physical challenges, added David about The Wardog.
Damn, thats mean.
The folks on Lesu ridicule their tribemates challenge performances more than I ever could.
Its like theyre doing my job for me.
However, in Davids defense, thisdidhappen right after a challenge.
Tribe Camp Odds & EndsJust some quick hits on the tribe beaches before we get to the immunity challenge.
Kama was once again all about Joe.
(You are forgiven if you have no idea who Aurora is.
I can only assume they are also getting sick of having to call one of their tribemates The Wardog.
I actually tried this puzzle in theSurvivorchallenge office when I was out on location.
Kirhoffer gave me 10 minutes to complete it and I was not even close.
Or the puzzle was hard.
I dont blame Wentworth for being frustrated by that.
The dude is a machine… if machines could grow hideous looking mustaches.
And while David had some puzzle redemption in the last immunity contest, he faltered once again here.
However, Lesu does actually seem to have the upper hand here.
For one thing, Kelley goes and finds an idol, giving Lesu two to play with.
Another potential advantage for Lesu comes in the form of their old tribemate Wendy.
No idols are played and the initial votes go 4 for Wendy and 4 for Lauren.
And then the floodgates of information exchange are officially open.
And there in the middle, alone, is Big Wendy.
A woman without a home, or a tribe.
The sacrificial lamb being led to the Tribal Council slaughter.
But it looks like Wendy may not have to wait at the Edge of Extinction for long.
Previews for next week show the ousted players showing up at what looks like a challenge.
Well find out soon enough.
Okay, now itsyourturn.
Do you feel the Edge of Extinction drama is worth the trade-off of vote-outs not being final?
Has the over-emphasis on returning players bugged you?
And did new Manu make the right call in not going to rocks?
Hit the message boards to weigh in and Ill be back next week with another scoop of the crispy!
