Theyre still sitting there.
Ithinktheyre filled with books, but Im not really sure.
I dont even know why I still have them.
Rick Devens on ‘Survivor: Edge of Extinction’.Credit: CBS
I have never reread a single book in my entire life.
Keeping them is pointless.
But maybe theyre not books at all.
I have no idea.
The point is, Ive been too lazy to ever go through them.
Now, if someone paid mea million dollarsto go through them, I certainly would.
Which brings us toSurvivor: Edge of Extinction.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH THESE PEOPLE?!?
Even when it is a player you are rooting for, it starts to lack excitement.
I like Rick a lot.
That is the mark of a truly great player.
Can you save yourself when you have no get-out-of-jail-free cards?
I would love to see Devens try.
Luckily for him, he hasnt had to.
Anyway, back to the others.
Honestly, it is somewhat infuriating to watch.
This is not one of those times.
Im gonna win this game.
I am working harder than everybody else, said Rick at one point.
Hes definitely right on one count, and maybe both.
So I rank the new season here with the option to adjust after the finale if need be.
Where willEdge of Extinctionfall?
Read on after the recap to find out.
But one other programming note.
This being May 8, it is the 11-year-anniversary of the greatest moment inSurvivorhistory.
I hope you will read, enjoy, and share with friends.
I put a lot of work into it so thanks for checking it out.
But, yeah, anyway, the recap.
Lets get to it!
A Curious ChoiceGod, I love watching people fall on their face.
I dont mean metaphorically.
I mean literally falling on their face.
Nothing is as good as crotch shots.
But this was pretty close.
Last week she couldnt even walk after the challenge.
So, anyway, that stage of the challenge was masterful.
He first picked Victoria, noting that she had not been on many rewards and was struggling.
Perhaps a bit from column A and a bit from column B.
However, even Victoria appeared on the verge of tears over the decision and was apologizing to Aurora.
Its not that Aurora is unwilling to play this game.
Im just not sure she knows how.
Dear Dalton,
Well, here you are again.
Something you have done over 450 times before over the past 20 years.
Think of the books that could have been written.
Think of the important volunteer work that could have made a difference in the lives of the less fortunate.
Think of all the time you could have devoted to your wife and children.
Think of the…
You know what?
This is way too depressing.
Jesus Christ, self-reflection freakin sucks.
Never, ever,everlet me do that again.
WHERE IS A MILWAUKEES BEST WHEN YOU REALLY NEED IT?!?
But it seems I wasnt the only person to unnecessarily write myself a letter before the season.
So did all the contestants.
Of course, they werent allowed to just open and read them next to each other back at camp.
Anyway, it was a splendid opportunity to make the contestants cry.
Even Reem got a bit introspective… dude.
When to Listen to Jeff ProbstJeff Probst does a lot of talking during challenges.
And, as Ive written many times before, he does a damn good job of it.
People watching at home think its easy to entertainingly and dramatically narrate a challenge.
His play by play totally amps up the energy.
But there is one glaring exception to that rule, and it is on word puzzles.
Its available to everyone.
The question is, who will pick up on it?
Rick then solved it, giving him the double whammy of both immunity and the immunity idol.
Why he did not bust out a Kool-Aid man OH YEAH!
at this point is beyond me.
But the lesson here is clear: Always listen to Probst when he is narrating a word puzzle competition.
But not this time.
Remember: Its not cheating if its legal.
The Greatest ShowmanThere were three very interesting things that happened at Tribal Council that I want to get into.
The first is how poorly all the players not named Rick Devens performed at this Tribal Council.
Aurora just went on and on and on about how incredible Rick is.
The woman wouldnt stop!
And other people then chimed in as well.
But my question is: Why?
Now, there are certain circumstances where it may be appropriate.
I would allow that.
BUT THIS MADE NO SENSE WHATSOEVER!!!!
Could not be taken out.
There was no strategic purpose to continually praising him.
STOP TALKING UP THE COMPETITION!
I mean, we already know Devens owns the jury.
You see it on their faces every single week.
So at least make an attempt to counter that.
Speaking of Devens owning the jury, its no wonder why.
With apologies to both Hugh JackmanandP.T.
Barnum, he truly is the greatest showman.
Lets go back to last week.
Remember when Rick made a huge show in transitioning from Rons fake idol to his own?
It was brilliant theater and only someone who works on camera for a living could have pulled it off.
The jury was lapping it up and afterwards all everyone could talk about was Rick Devens.
And with good reason.
He found the idol.
He saved himself when he otherwise would have been gone.
And he did it all in super-dramatic fashion.
I cant help but wonder if something similar happened again this week.
And when the votes came back, it was Aurora, not Julie, who was unanimously voted out.
HOLY SMOKES, RICK DEVENS DID IT AGAIN!
PUT THIS GUY ON THESURVIVORMT.
But wait a minute.DidRick Devens do it?
Because Im not so sure.
But the thing is, we never saw whom those three ultimately settled on.
Whos to say Lauren didnt convince them taking out Aurora was the better move?
It sounds like Im being critical of Rick, but its actually just the opposite.
Its pretty fascinating thanks to the candor of those who tell the story.
(Some of the answers may surprise you.)
Oh, and Im finally giving away the original embarrassing moment confessions from the contestants.
Want to win them?
Just follow me on Instagram@thedaltonrossand youll find out in the next few days.
(Also feel free to follow me on Twitter@DaltonRossif youre a tweeter.)
Lets get to it!
SURVIVOR SEASON-BY SEASON RANKINGS(From best to worst)
1.
(Tie)Survivor: Borneo(Winner: Richard Hatch)
andSurvivor: Micronesia Fans vs.
Favorites(Winner: Parvati Shallow)Ive gone back and forth with these two over the years.
AfterMicronesiaaired, I named it the bestSurvivorseason ever.
So then I returned that to the #1 spot.
If I wanted to watch one season again, it would beMicronesia.
If you ask me which is the mostimportantseason, well, obviously itsBorneo.
And the greatness just kept on coming.
Filled with huge memorable moments like Tyson voting himself off, J.T.
giving Russell his immunity idol, and Parvati handing outtwoimmunity idols at one Tribal Council.
I know many people would consider this No.
1, but its all returnees.
For me, the fresh blood ofMicronesiakeeps that season higher.
(Maybe not well at all times, but at least they were playing.)
moment to a truly exhilarating season.
Thats what it all comes down to.
And its not just Christian, who was one of the most universally loved contestants of all-time.
That is an amazing 9 out of 20 that I would easily welcome back on another season.
Often, thats all a season needs.
And that really is first and foremost the reasonDavid vs. Goliathbecame an all-time great.
But there were other trophies to hand out as well.
The editing job done by producers was perhaps the shows best ever.
They experimented with new techniques which served to freshen up the franchise in its 37th season.
They added comedic flourishes that were totally unnecessary yet improved the episodes nonetheless.
They cut back and forth between players and stories in ways they never had before.
A top 5 finish.
Letting fans vote in the cast?
Hiding idols at challenges?
I think you all know how I feel about that.
Tempting people to quit an immunity challenge for a mystery vote steal advantage?
All the tribe switcheroos?
They played out to perfection.
TheSurvivorproducers always throw a bunch of twists out there.
Usually, some work and some dont.
This season, they all paid dividends.
I also appreciated how hard the bulk of the cast was playing.
Usually, you get a small handful of big-time gamers.
Another plus: The votes were completely unpredictable from week to week, leading to some truly crazy Tribals.
Sure, the challenges were a bit blah, but still, a rousing and triumphant success.
Some people hate on Jenna as a winner, but she won challenges and played an effective social game.
8.Survivor: Pearl Islands(Winner: Sandra Diaz-Twine)Rupert stealing shoes.
Fairplay getting drunk at Tribal Council.
Osten sucking at everything.
It was all delicious.
Loses points, though, for the awful Outcasts twist, which also led to a disappointing final two.
And the challenges may have beenSurvivors best ever.
WhenMillennials vs. Gen Xstarted, most of us were like, Yeah, its fine.
Not amazing, but not terrible either.
But then things kept happening.
And everyone kept flipping on one another.
And everyone kept getting blindsided.
And everyone kept futilely using their idols for other people.
It was madness and chaos in the best way possible.
And what was so fascinating was that (with the exception of Michaela) nobody took their ouster personally.
This was a season remarkably free of any sort of fighting whatsoever.
None of the ugliness ofWorlds ApartorKaoh Rongpermeated the proceedings, even amongst all the lying and backstabbing.
Even Hannah was entertaining with her neurosis.
Even Ken was entertaining with his late-game cluelessness.
Bret gave us a touching moment where he came out as gay to Zeke.
Sunday outsmarted Adam and Hannah with a ruse at Tribal Council.
(However, I still cant figure out why they went with three-person duelsa.k.a.
truelsand they definitely should have stopped RI at the merge.)
So why is it so high?
Because the casting and storylines that developed gave us people to root for and against something every greatSurvivorseason needs.
Survivor: Caramoan Fans vs.
But hear me out first before you Russell any feathers.
It was flat-out grating.
But everything post-merge was spectacular.
There were moves and countermoves galore down the homestretch.
Also, dont overlook how great the bevy of water challenges was.
Should I push it down in the rankings due to the lackluster Reunion show that followed?
He was robbed in the end, though, in the most controversial jury decision ever.
Survivor: China(Winner: Todd Herzog)Ive always loved this season.
It featured a really good cast stuck in a really bad location.
Todd completely owned that final Tribal Council.
Thats how you win a million dollars.
Plus: Purple rock!!!
Survivor: Cook Islands(Winner: Yul Kwon)What a difference a mutiny makes.
It was listless until that fateful moment when Candice and Penner stepped off the mat.
Then we finally had underdogs to root for.
Plus, just look at all the great first-time contestants (Parvati, Penner, Ozzy, Yul).
Survivor: Ghost Island(Winner: Wendell Holland)This was such a hard season to rank.
(Guess that Bamboo was about as riveting as watching an Adam Sandler movie as part of aSouth Pacificreward.
And then there is the ending, which also has plusses and minuses.
So again, both good and bad.
Like I said, a hard season to rank.
But the ending was fantastic, and I was engaged throughout, even with the noted weaknesses.
I liked watching Kellyn act like a super-spaz.
I was fascinated with the Laurel and Donathan strategic push-and-pull.
Throw that all together and you end up in the middle of the pack.
Survivor: Game Changers(Winner: Sarah Lacina)What a weird season this was.
We were treated to two titans of the game (Tony and Sandra) going toe to toe.
But something was missing.
Said events were all exciting, but they failed to form a cohesive unit.
all gone before the merge.
And despite the gameplay and unpredictability down the stretch, that is kind of what happened.
And then there is what happened to Cirie in the finale.
(The fact that it happened to a true legend in Cirie made it even harder to swallow.)
Thats a great example of natural show evolution that worked and the producers deserve to be commended for it.
Survivor: Australian Outback(Winner: Tina Wesson)An overrated season in my book.
Pretty predictable boot order as well.
Dude did burn his hands off, though.
But there is one thing I reallydiddig about this season, and that is the cast.
And, outside of one mind-bogglingly boring loved ones reward contest, the challenges were strong.
But now comes the bad news.
Like the majority ofSurvivornation, I was not a fan of the new final four fire-making twist.
That was a bummer.
Survivor: Tocantins(Winner: J.T.
Thomas)Okay, you may roll your eyes at Coach 1.0.
But imagine for a second this season without him.
His unintentional comedy single-handedly lifts this into respectable territory for me.
Seriously, other than Tyson getting blindsided, were there any memorable moments that didnt involve the Dragonslayer?
But the unlikely alliance between bookish northerner Fishbach and country boy J.T.
made for a compelling thread throughout the season.
Working against this season is the fact that there simply were not enough transcendent players in the cast.
(Remember Jerri getting literally booed off the stage?)
Terry was robbed on a final challenge that may or may not have been completely fair.
Another unmemorable final two.
Shane Powers should have been brought back forHeroes vs. Villains.
And theSecond Chanceseason, for that matter.
Survivor: Edge of Extinction(Winner: ?
Thats the best word I can think of to describe the season.
Theres nothing that was terrible about it.
There just wasnt a whole lot to really gush over either.
Its just hard to muster a lot of passion for this one.
Just last season we had a top 5 ever entry inDavid vs. Goliath.
Lets not get greedy.
Not every outing can be an all-timer.
Sometimes all cylinders are firing.
This season trends more towards not.
The fact that so many unworthy players went so far is simply too damning.
Survivor: Africa(Winner: Ethan Zohn)Some great challenges.
Not that much else was great.
Survivor: Guatemala(Winner: Danni Boatwright)One of the more unlikable casts so far.
Stephenies evil twin?)
Rafe was good for a few laughs, though.
Especially on rope obstacles.
That counts for something.
Survivor: One World(Winner: Kim Spradlin)Look, I have total respect for Kims game.
Like Tom inPalauand Rob inRedemption Island, she excelled strategically, socially, and physically.
Unfortunately, that is really the only good thing I can say about this season.
And thats too bad because I do think the One World concept was a solid one.
But, man, what a thoroughly uninspiring cast.
Speaking of awful creative decisions…
38.
Survivor: Nicaragua(Winner: Jud Fabio Birza)Its at the bottom for a few reasons.
- Splitting the tribes up by age and the Medallion of Power were both enormous flops.
LikeOne World,Thailand,andFiji,Nicaraguahad just too many unlikable players.
Two people quitting with only 11 days left.
No big memorable moments.
EvenThailandhad the fake merge andFijihad the big Yau-Man/Dreamz free car deal gone bad, but what wasNicaraguas signature moment?
Unfortunately, it was people quitting, and that was memorable for all the wrong reasons.
Okay, thats gonna about do it.
Where doesEdge of Extinctionfall for you?
And whom are you rooting for to take home the million dollars next week?
