And I do it.
I was reminded of that during this latest episode, and it had nothing to do with any blindsides.
It had nothing to do with the NatalieJeremy feud.
Natalie Cole on ‘Survivor: David vs. Goliath’.Credit: Robert Voets/CBS
It had nothing to do with the color ofJeff Probstshat.
In fact, nobody even had to say anything to make this moment so special.
And there were people being told to Come on in, guys!
by a dude looking at his feet.
And it was POURING!
It wasnt just raining, it was raining cats and dogs.
Actually, someone call the Weather Girls because we appeared about two degrees away from it raining men.
(Halleluiah, its raining men, amen!)
So these poor saps did what they were told by the host and came on in.
But you could barely even see them due to the torrent of water coming down.
But then I thought something else: Where else on data pipe television can you see something like this?
Everything else seems to be either stuffed with laugh tracks or people solving procedural crime cases.
And then there isSurvivor.
None of that stuff.
And in an odd way, this show is at its most beautiful when it is this miserable.
Put more simply, it just looks badass.
Again, people walking into a challenge.
Its a throw-away moment.
Its just so they can get to a mat thats literally the only reason they bother to show it.
Nothing interesting is supposed to happen there.
Its just people getting from point A to point B.
And it had nothing to do with knee socks.
Okay, lets round up what else went down this week.
Nick wants her out because he is insistent on making this Mason Dixon alliance name happenat all costs.
At least Christian still likes Gabby.
And Gabby likes Christian.
The two have an in-depth discussion comparing and contrasting Slamtown and Whimpville.
Frankly, Slamtown seems like something of a nightmare.
For one thing, I have no desire to get slammed.
Secondly, I can only assume that Slamtown is filled with aggressive Alphas all doing aggressive things.
(You know, the Slamtonians.)
Whimpville sounds far more chill.
Plus, it would most likely be a lot easier to run things in Whimpville than Slamtown.
You could be like Anthony Michael Hall inSixteen Candles: the self-proclaimed King of the Dipss.
Jeremy has been playing a million miles per hour.
The problem is, hes way too obvious about it.
Stealth R Us, this guy aint, lets just put it that way.
Jeremy notices there are a lot of smaller side conversations happening around camp.
This is a good thing to notice.
Keeping tabs on who is sneaking off with whom is a valuable tool in information gathering.
Dude, settle down!
To make matters worse, Jeremy then goes and tells everyone how he found an idol in Dans jacket.
On its surface, thats not such a terrible thing to do because it paints a target on Dan.
But the real Jeremy fireworks are yet to come.
Lets first get to the aforementioned immunity challenge in the rain.
This is clearly a challenge in which the selection of who does what is crucial.
Actually, thats not entirely true.
Because like all challenges, its all about the puzzle.
You win the puzzle, you win the challenge.
That doesnt mean the rest of the challenge isnt worth watching.
Ilovewatching the physical stages of challenges.
OVER THE TOP!!!!
What sort of world is that?
And why cant I live in it again?
I mean, substitute robots for arm-wrestling, sure, but otherwise same movie.
Anyway, what was I talking about?
Thats true, but its damn good window dressing and I look forward to it each and every week.
Will that come back to haunt them?
Spoiler alert: It will!
But the Davids victory does not come without a cost.
This is usually not a good sign.
Still, theres not too much cause for alarm at this point.
But you know when thereshouldbe alarm?
Whenever they go to the winning tribes beach after a challenge.
They never do this!
Never, ever, ever.
Why include this scene, especially now as opposed to at the start of the next episode?
I worry the seeds are being planted foranother medical evac.
I hope not, but I worry.
Then again, I worry about a lot of things.
Its kinda like holding out for a hero, only with less Bonnie Tyler and illegal dancing.
But forget about those Davids over in Whimpville its time for the Jeremy and Natalie show!
And what a show it is.
Jeremy then responds with, I dont think you understand your personality or how you speak.
Thats right in the strike zone!
(Perhaps in more ways than one.)
ASURVIVORCONTESTANT WHO HAS NEVER SEENSURVIVORBEING RECRUITED TO PLAY THE GAME???
I am shockedshocked!to find that gambling is going on in here!
On one hand, I guess that is impressive.
On the other hand, who gets discounts at restaurants?!?
I mean, who would even ASK for a discount at a restaurant?
Can you haggle with your server at Bahama Breeze now?
Is that a thing?
(Is this a Groupon situation or just pure flirting?
Because Groupon, I can do.
Flirting, I have a feeling Id be considerably less successful at.)
So Angelina gets to work, and work it will take.
And there is another storm brewing between Jeremy and Natalie.
How does she get to be 57 years old and not know how to talk to people?
First of all, not being self-aware is a weird thing to look up in the dictionary.
But I guess the point stands nonetheless.
Not quite Wendell Holland level, but pretty damn close.
(Also, is that the only time Natalie has given anyone credit for anything on this show?
I also am pretty sure that could be the first time we have seen her smile.)
Now, Im not saying that was a strong long-term move for her.
You want to save those forcefully-argued moved for ones that really matter and Im not convinced this did.
Its a unique skill, and Angelina has it.
Now well just have to wait and see if it costs her.
One thing we wont have to wait for is that tribe swap.
After all, this is the first season there have not been any actual tribe names.
Is Christian going to all of a sudden be a Goliath?
Are we supposed to believe Angelina is a David all of a sudden?
Could the Mayor of Slamtown be demoted to the Phys Ed teacher of Whimpsville?
All we can do is wait for the impending Charmpocalypse to find out.
But in the meantime, c’mon enjoy the exclusive deleted scene we have for you here.
And like peruse my weeklyQ&A with Hostmaster General Jeff Probst.
And also follow me on Twitter@DaltonRossfor more.
Hit the message boards to share your thoughts.
Sad to see Jeremy go?
Huge move or mistake by Angelina to go that strong that early?
Weigh in below and Ill be back next week with another scoop of the crispy!
