If I go home tonight with guns blazing, Im happy.
Natalia
I mean, you didntlookhappy.
There was the stare down at Alec after he flipped sides and joined the Davids to vote you out.
Credit: Robert Voets/CBS
There was the beginning of the talk back with, I knew it.
I knew I couldnt trust you.
There was the rebuttal after Alec apologized with Dont be sorry.
Shut up hilariously followed with the torch placement query of Where do I put this?
There was the exasperated final comment of Why are you smiling?
Oh my God, I cant handle you right now!
There was even an awkward stumble out of Tribal Council.
And then, a few minutes later, your final words ended with Im pissed.
I want to hurt him so bad.
So this wasnt exactly a Bobby McFerrin concert is what Im getting at.
But we, as viewers, were amply able to follow the dont worry, be happy mantra.
Not that we were happy to see Natalia go.
Natalia is the sort of punch in-A paranoid control freak we love to watch in this game.
Its actually a shame to lose her this early.
But it made for a hell of a Tribal Council.
But that has changed.
Not for every Tribal, mind you.
And not even most of them.
I have no idea what made Alec change his vote.
Maybe Elizabeth constantly talking about his balls finally got to him.
I also dont see how this was a smart move for him.
With Carl now entering the tribe, the Goliaths just went from a 3-2 majority to a 3-2 minority.
So I dont know what the hell Alec was thinking.
My hunch is that this was not a smart move.
But damn it was fun to watch.
Shedidgo out guns blazing, as promised.
Okay, so much else to get to, and there aint nothing to it but to do it.
We begin the episode at a beach that gives the impression of set up for a challenge.
Its a tribe swap!
But before that, Bi has an announcement to make.
I actually have to make a really sad announcement.
That means Bi isnotbeing medically evacuated.
She is leaving on her own volition.
That is quickly confirmed in the language Probst uses to describe all the trouble the David tribe has endured.
Its not the Goliaths that have somebody medically evacuated, says Probst,referencing Pat.
Its not the Goliaths that have somebody quit, then referencing Bi.
And then, in case there was any doubt, he officially announces: Bi has made her decision.
Bi is quitting the game.
So what exactly happened here?
We saw Bis injury in the last challenge.
But I was wrong.
She was not medically evacuated.
This is a tough one.
What was Bi told bySurvivormedical in terms of her injury?
Did she use the injury as an excuse because her best buddy Jessica was blindsided a few days prior?
I have no clue.
But did Bis exit impact the game in another way?
But had Bi not quit, there would have been 17 at this juncture.
At least thats what I assumed.
Ooooh, intrigue!)
So, yeah, tribe swap!
Also, Carl gets sent to Exile and will later join the losing tribe after somebody is voted out.
Heres a brief assessment of what goes down at each of the new tribe camps.
VukuDavie is an odd dude, and I say that as a compliment.
Im ashamed to say I havent befriended too many Caucasians, he informs us.
To be clear, Im not going around polling people about their feelings regarding PT Cruisers.
That would be weird, even for me.
Kara and Elizabeth both bond over religion!
Kara and Elizabeth also bond over horses and the fact that they ride saddle seat!
You know who isnotbonding?
But the Goliaths pow-wow to see to it they are all on the same page.
I would never ever flip.
What would be the point of that?
It would just not make sense, agrees Alec.
This isnt actually me writing this recap.
You may have noticed that already.
Sure, it was fine and all, but something seemed a bit off.
You couldnt quite pinpoint it, but you knew something was amiss.
It was a certainje ne sais quoi.
But you could tell it wasnt me.
In fact, shes the one who told me to reveal the ruse.
I guess she wanted credit or something?
(She didnt tell me to say that.
GOOD LORD, hey DONT LET HER CATCH ME!)
Anyway, now she wants me to tell you all about her tribe, Jabeni.
Sooooooo, this doesnt appear to necessarily be the strongest of tribes.
Anyway, this tribe seems to be getting along splendidly thanks to the firm unwavering leadership of Natalie.
Three cheers for Natalie, everyone!
Natalie: Is there anything shecantdo?
First, we had the Thoroughbreds.
Then, the MasonDixon alliance.
And now, the Rock Stars.
(And those are just the ones that made the final edit!
We only see a minute or two of Nick every three days.
I guess we need to talk about the Rock Stars.
First off, why Rock Stars?
This is so humiliating.
Quick, how do I get out of doing that again?
Ill tell him something to distract him.
Ooh, like that Dan has an idol!
That should do the trick.
Anyway, thats Jabeni for you.
TivaHey, remember Vine, everyone?
It was a social media platform where you could create simply hilarious videos for no apparent reason.
Back duringSurvivor: CambodiaI created a little masterpiece I titled Juxtaposition.
Vine no longer exists, but thanks to the magic of Twitter, my handiwork still lives on.
Its like Paula Abdul and rapping animated feline MC Skat Cat once opined through the power of song oppositesdoattract!
I really like Gabby and I think theres more to her than what were seeing.
And I imagine it bums her out too.
I think there is strength there.
I dont know why I think these things, but I do.
Exile IslandIm kind of fascinated by what happens here with Carl.
He figures out it must be a coconut with something hidden inside.
But heres whatImtrying to figure out.
Whatever, Im obsessing over stupid details that nobody else cares about again.
WHY DO I HAVE TO BE SO SOCIALLY AWKWARD LIKE JOHN MORRISON?!?
So Carl opens his coconut and learns he is now the proud owner of an Idol Nullifier.
What does this Idol Nullifier do, you ask?
(Just pretend you asked.)
If that person does play one at that Tribal Council, its blocked.
If that person doesnt, then the Idol Nullifier will never be revealed.
We have actually seen an idol canceling twist before but inAustralian Survivor.
In that case, the holder was able to use it on anyoneafteran idol was played.
So I guess you could call that one the Tyler Perry Idol Nullifier.
Personally, I like this way much better because it requires a lot more guesswork and strategy.
First, you have to know who has the idol.
Then you have to guess who he/she will play it for.
And then you have to guess when that person will play it.
Another thing I like is when contestants are blindfolded for a challenge.
For shame,Survivorproducers!
Then the caller must direct two other blindfolded members to get not-Alecs-ball through a table maze.
Remember when I said I wanted to see other aspects of Gabbys game?
My wish is the shows command!
Gabby does a stellar job as caller for Tiva tribe.
Instead of screaming like a lunatic, she sounds soft, calm, and reassuring.
In fact, all the women callers (Gabby, Angelina, and Kara) do well.
So often we have seen people panic in this role, but these three performed admirably.
That means its back to Vuku beach, or, as it is now known: Scramble City.
But while the Davids are turning on each other, the Goliaths are doing the SAME DAMN THING!
Alec says Natalias bossiness is pissing me off and that he doesnt trust her.
We go to Tribal Council where all the players….
Wait, whats that smell?
Does anyone else smell that?
Did Elizabeth poop her pants again?
Natalia doesnt like that at all.
I know this because Natalia says, I dont like that at all.
And do you know why?
Because guilty feet have got no rhythm.Thatswhy!
Finally, the whispering stops as Natalia asks Kara straight up Are you voting me out?
To which a shocked Kara responds, NO!
Its the same thing.
You know what hes voting.
And we, as viewers, are just as in the dark as Natalia.
Or is it Natalia?
God, I love this show.
In the end, its Natalia.
Maybe she was too bossy.
Maybe she was too high-strung.
Maybe she wasnt trustworthy.
I have no idea.
All I do know is that getting eliminated from the game before Natalie has to be KILLING her.
On the bright side, your skin is gorgeous, darling.
So you got that going for you, which is nice.
So how are we feeling about this season so far?
It also seems like a generally likable group.
These are people you want to watch play.
And theres also myweekly Q&A with Hostmaster General Jeffrey Probst.
And my exit interviews with Bi and Natalia will kick off at 9:30 a.m.
ET Thursday onEW Morning Live(SiriusXM, channel 105) and you could read them right now EW.com.
Heres ourchat with Bi, and here is ourinterview with Natalia.
Those goodies are all almost as nice as Jeremey and Natalias skin.
Maybe not as nice as Christian, who seems like the nicest, but nice enough.
you’ve got the option to also follow me on Twitter@DaltonRossif social media is your thing.
And now itsyourturn, What do you think about Bis decision to leave the game?
And the new Idol Nullifier?
And Davie and Elizabeth convincing Alec to switch sides?
Hit the message boards to weigh in and Ill be back next week with another scoop of the crispy.
