Dont worry, Im going to talk about our newestSurvivorchampion.
Im also going to go into the sartorial choices of jury member Davie Rickenbacker.
She told me… ONLY ABOUT THIRTY BILLION TIMES!
Credit: CBS
Angelina was the real winner ofSurvivor: David vs Goliath.
She then mentioned it to her mom when she visited for the Loved Ones.
She mentioned it to Davie when he was picking people for reward.
She mentioned it to the others not selected to go on the reward.
She mentioned it to the jury.
THIS WOMAN WANTS YOU TO KNOW HOW SELFLESS SHE IS!
Oh, I kid because I love.
Thats high praise, indeed.
Think about that for a second.
Instead, he enters the most prestigious of clubs as a Sole Survivor.
And he ends up a million dollars richer (at leastbeforetaxes) because of it.
From worst to first, due to one bad wave.
Did Nick deserve the win?
(He beat Mike and Angelina by a vote of 7-3-0.)
As for the finale itself, it kind of mirrored the season as a whole.
We could just focus on what made this season great: the characters and the editing.
DAMMIT, WHY CANT I HAVE IT BOTH WAYS?!
Where are the absolute monsters in the cast when you need them?
Can we get someone fromOne Worldon the phone, like?
Im not calling Nick out for using his personal pain for financial gain.
So anyway, yeah… Nick.
Lets go through the whole shebang now starting from the very top.
Although Angelinas grade after finding the idol clue was decidedly less excellent.
First, she lost the clue.
Then, she forgot where the idol was hidden.
Then, she climbed way too high and almost got stuck on a cliff.
Its ALL about the puzzle.
And that theory was proven correct yet again in the first immunity challenge of the finale.
Nick waswaaaaaaayback in fifth place after racing through obstacles, releasing puzzle steps, and building a staircase.
He mastered the 63-piece logo puzzle to win immunity anyway.
Because its all about the puzzle.
Two other notes about this competition.
Youve got to let me know.
Everest, Angelina had to tell Nick and Mike that she needed their help to get the idol.
Seriously, this may have been the funniest moment of the entire episode.
Nothing comes between Mike White and his wine!
Alas, he relented.
I take it all back.
You dont deserve the million dollars after all.
Nick wanted Alison out because Davie was his bro.
Angelina wanted Alison out because… actually, I have no idea why she wanted Alison out.
Isnt Alison the person you want to bring all the way to the end?
I could sway this either way.
Ill be honest with you.
Ive kind of been driving the last three-ish votes.
Im sorry, come again?
He got Kara on board and then convinced Angelina (correctly) that Davie was the much bigger threat.
No, Davie had somepre-parting parting words.
No hard feelings, guys, he said after having his torch snuffed.
Its up to someone else to make a bigger move.
Love you, guys.
How cool was that?
Gotta love the attitude.
And that pretty much extends to Davies entire stay on the island.
The self-proclaimed Blerd managed to navigate that tricky line of playing hard and also having a blast.
Just read this entry from his bio.
And this is not a joke.
Ive always prided myself on my social media presence via various platforms.
Social media is also the reason I became employed with the top agency in the world for Public Health.
I can say with confidence that it is my expertise and claim to fame undeniably.
WHAT THE HELL DID WE JUST READ?!
What planet is this?
He could have won this game!
And I loved Davie!
Which leads me to ask the question: Why amInot following him on social media?
Especially when you consider some of the lame-os who Iamfollowing.
People who may post at, like, 2 or 3 a.m. Why would they do that?
Thats a terrible time to post hilarious musings or couch selfies.
Davie doesnt do that.
David knows exactly the best hour to post, every time.
Its his personal claim to fame!
Its honestly one of my favorite things in the world.
Here she goes again.
Alison, stop looking down!
Yeah, well, dont look down!
Anyway, the rest of the challenge description doesnt matter anyway.
Say it with me, people: Its all about the puzzle.
In this case, a block puzzle.
This is why Ben won over Chrissy.
I bring all this up to set the stage for Angelina.
And make no mistake, Angelina wanted a stage.
And perhaps a few backup dancers if at all possible.
Because she wanted her moment.
And lets be clear about something: That is exactly what sheshouldwant.
Thats what every player should want.
The jury should be considered in everything you do and say at Tribal Council.
Its why Carl said Bing and held up his note after nullifying Dans idol.
He wanted the credit for it.
Now Angelina wanted credit for something.
But heres where things got weird.
Its one thing to want credit from the jury.
Why would they ever agree to that?
Hey, can you all help me beat you and collect one million dollars?
Of course, its not cool!
Its not even remotely cool.
Why would she think it would be cool?
But ask yourself this: Why in the name of Dreamz would anyone want to take credit for that?
There was ZERO strategic advantage to putting this fake idol into play.
Instead, it was likely to just come off as petty and mean.
Shes like a cruel psychopath, said Mike of the plan.
Diary of a Mad Freakin Castaway.
I dont think Angelinas evil.
But I do think she massively miscalculated how this move would be perceived by others.
This just came off as kicking someone when they were down.
Or rubbing salt in the wound.
Or adding insult to injury.
Or whatever other cliche you care to use.
What the hell is Davie wearing on the jury?
THIS LOOK SHOULD BE HIS NEW PERSONAL CLAIM TO FAME!!!
There was also a spectacularly out of nowhere Tribal feud forming between Mike an Alison.
Not sure what that was about.
And why shouldnt she fight for herSurvivorlife by calling Mike out as a threat?
She didnt make any personal attacks.
She merely stated a truth of the game.
Frankly, it would have been more undignified to sit back and die without a fight.
So good for her.
Then it was time for the main act.
You made me work for that one too.
How fabulous is that?
Seriously, just break it down.
I am slow-clapping in my brain right now in honor of that speech.
Was it laying it on a bit thick?
Of course, it was laying it on too thick!Waytoo thick!
Which is yet reason #347 why I never want to watch another television show without Angelina on it.
Get this woman on however manyNCISshows happen to be on TV now.
Put her on whatever comedy is currently losing half ofBig Bang Theorys lead-in audience.
She cant stop talking about it, noted Gabby from the jury of Angelinas boast.
Hey, thats enough out of you, Pascuzzi!
Shes not talkingenoughabout it, if you ask me!
I selected Alison this time because we saw a fair amount of her in the premiere.
Alison will be just fine.
Hey, I have a question?
Who didnt get enough balls inlast weeks episode?
I cringed while I watched, yet could not look away.
That meant Nick automatically made the final 3.
That seemed to me like the right move in that Angelina was probably the easiest to beat.
But then something else occurred to me.
Lets say Nick viewed Mike as the biggest threat to beat him.
Why give him all day to practice?
Tell him hes safe and then drop the real plan on all of them at Tribal Council.
And this one does not seem unnecessary and cruel.
It actually has a totally valid strategic purpose.
Anyway, something for all you futureSurvivorplayers to consider.
And the Jabeni final three indeed came to pass.
Gotta love it!)
God, stop being such a killjoy, Davie.
No one talks to my girl Angelina like that!
Go sit next to Gabby and keep your opinions to yourself, kindly.
Honestly, how dare you?
All three did well.
I thought Mikes words were especially interesting in that I couldnt tell how they played with the jury.
That may have been a miscalculation on his part.
It may have cost him a million dollars.
And, if what he was saying was actually true, he may not really care.
(But I think he does.
Mike is a competitive guy who loves this game.
He has to care.)
before turning and showing us the screaming audience behind him totally fired me up!
The hype machine was in high gear, and I was all about it.
Major props to the art department for that.
But he wasnt the only one not on the stage.
Jeremy was also missing in action.
Was he punished forsaying that Angelinawanted to be in a showmance with John?
That would seem odd.
Did he refuse to come for some reason?
(NOTE: Oh, right.
Forgot about that.)
Also, Davies wardrobe wins the season.
On second thought, Davies wardrobe winseveryseason.
Look, its Zeke!
And Zekes boyfriend, Nico Santos!
I dont know why I am using exclamation points!
But its nice to see people happy and Zeke seems happy.
(I wonder if he got Cochrans usual seat at the finale.
Or the seat of some kid who was going to tell us that Christian was his favorite player.)
But kudos to Probst for not sweeping that under the rug and letting her air her grievances.
It would have been very easy for him to simply not call on her.
And we will have interviews with theDavid vs. Goliathfinal 6 up soon.
And for moreSurvivorscoop moving forward, follow me on Twitter@DaltonRoss.
Soooooooo, that will about do it, I guess.
I just want to say thanks for once again taking this insane ride with me.
Not only do you make my job more enjoyable, but you make theSurvivorcommunity a better place.
So, yeah, thanks!
Season 38 will be coming up right around the corner.
I went on location for that one so will have some bonus stuff for you on that in 2019.
