If you ever wondered whenRiverdalewould go full noir, the answer is: Right freakin now.
But I suppose now more than ever its a town of lost souls.
For once, Ill let Jugs overdramatic voiceover go because it works with the noir theme of the hour.
Credit: Jack Rowand/The CW
(If only the episode had been in black-and-white!)
As she tells Jug, You do know how volatile blondes can be.
(Is thatRiverdalesversion of blondes have more fun?)
It doesnt take long for Betty and Jugheads cases to collide sort of.
Betty takes a break from her investigation to help Jug track down Hirams mistress at the Five Seasons.
And of course, Penelope has an alibi for Claudius death.
But its not Claudius death that Bettys focused on.
(Can you imagine a more embarrassing way to die than PUFFERFISH POISONING?!
The least cool fish in the world ended your life, dude.
Talk about humiliating.)
That runoff is what was causing seizures (but only in young women?).
(Next: Who shot Hiram?)
From one stalemate to another, Jughead figures out who shot Hiram.
(He also admittedly wanted revenge for what happened to Jug on Riot Night.)
It was Tall Boy, who got violent during the arrest and was killed.
And that leaves Jug and Hermione in a stalemate for now.
But thats not Hermiones only problem.
But Hermione claims it was a distraction so that Hiram could shut down his drug empire.
And when he didnt, well she got FP to shoot him, but Veronica doesnt know that.
Together, Veronica and Hermione agree to sell the prison, drugs and all.
Only, Veronica changes her mind.
Thats a problem Hermione can face in the future.
There is no saving this kid.
Hes too dumb for literally any job.
And so, he decides to get drunk.
So, he goes to visit Hiram in the hospital … with a gun in his hand.
Remember when he was SO mad at Veronica for asking if hed shot Hiram?
Well now, hes going to SHOOT HIRAM!!!
Arch then tells Veronica that he no longer hates her father.
Honestly, Archies probably too dumb to realize what he feels.
and jamming with Josie.
Because there isnt a problem that jamming cant solve.
And that brings us to the end of the hour.
As for Veronica, she tells Jughead that she doesnt want to know who shot her father.
She told Hiram it was Tall Boy, and shes going to leave it at that.
As she puts it, Forget it, Jughead.
