Veronica’s confirmation brings a lot of sketchy people to an already sketchy town
HasRiverdalegone tooRiverdaleat this point?
Thats the (fairly confusing) question Im asking myself after this weeks episode.
I mean, Veronica just sang Bittersweet Symphony while walking down the aisle of her own confirmation.
Credit: Daniel Power/The CW
Also, Betty now spends her mornings having webcam sex before school?
And lets not forget that there were TWO murders this week.
Finally, I have some questions about the relationships on this show.
And when hes not grooming/torturing Archie, Hiram is busy making Jugs life terrible ormoreterrible, I suppose.
Either they deliver General Pickens decapitated head, or theyre gone.
And, spoiler alert, Hiram is behind that too.
Because at this point, hes pulling the mayors strings.
One good thing about Hirams involvement is that it finally forces Jug and Betty to talk about Toni.
Also, is there anything worse than listening to two teens attempt to talk about stuff?
But he knows its the hottest party in town and hes new, so he understands.
In other news, I just wrote shindig!
Vs song of choice?
Bittersweet Symphony from theCruel Intentionssoundtrack.
And suddenly, Josie is regretting every decision shes ever made that has led her to this moment.
(Well, at least we know her priorities.)
She warns Archie about the poker game, explaining that all of the players are like daddy.
So theyre hot and more than willing to assert their physical dominance over teens on a wrestling mat?
Yes, but also, they scary.
PRECIOUS INNOCENT ARCHIE THINKS THEYRE GOING TO BE DRINKING WATER.
Hes worried about the hydration of murderers.
Isnt he cute?!
Veronica then goes to Hiram to find out what his agenda is with all this Archie business.
If thats true, then she loses the thing she loves most about him: his hair innocence.
Although, after the poker game, it might not be Ronnies choice.
To remove him after Vs confirmation.
Archie also overhears Hiram confess to owning Pops.
So yeah, hes on the inside now whether V likes it or not.
So basically, find a way to live with yourself all the while knowing youre a terrible person.
You know, in case you didnt get it.)
Also at the confirmation, Betty and Jughead get the chance to catch up.
So she wants to get payback and then also give him tetanus?
Now theres going to be a vote among the Serpents: Penny or Jug, and he is stressed.
Sure, THATS the worst part, and not the mutilation.
In that moment, Betty gets a call.
Actually, they have more than that they have answers.
Some guy who owns a scrapyard found the head in one of his fridges.
Jugs question: Was this gentleman tall?
AND BOOM THEYVE IDENTIFIED TALL BOY AS THE PERP.
Can we talk about how the fact that hes tall immediately identifies him as this person.
Is he even THAT tall?
Im sorry, WHAT?
The girl in the pink dress who helped you find the head of statue is now one of you?
Is this because of her terrible striptease?
This is not making sense to me.
Also, Betty, put your hand down!
You do not get a vote in Serpent matters!
Why is everyone going dark?!
So much for him being Ronnies beacon in the night.
And then theres Betty, who decides to mount Jug before she calls it a night.
She stops briefly mid makeout to maybe tell him something, but then she decides against it.
Was she going to tell him about the kiss with Archie or about the webcam dirty work?
Fun, right?!
Okay, so heres the part where we discuss my last issue with this episode the relationships!
And then they kissed.
And now hes confessing his undying love for Veronica and Bettys hooking up with Jughead?
Furthermore, Betty and Archie havent even talked in a while.
This isnt a shipper rant.
At this point, none of these relationships are making sense to me.
Except for Chic and his webcam.
That totally checks out.
