I shouldve known that the theatrics of a musical would pair perfectly with the theatrics ofRiverdale.
Anyhow, lets get into it, shall we?
The hour wastes no time in giving us our first group musical number.
Credit: Katie Yu/The CW
Could Archies IQ one day grow to be as impressive as his biceps?
THAT is the true mystery ofRiverdale, and only time will tell.
The group number then leads us directly into Kevin welcoming everyone viewers included toCarrie: The Musical.
Finishing out the cast is Chuck Clayton, desperate to redeem his reputation.
Hes not a bad guy, he swears!!
Watch, he can sing!
How can he be a bad guy if he can sing?!
With the cast set, we get into the drama of it all.
Annnnnd then a sandbag drops from the ceiling and nearly kills her.
WELCOME TO RIVERDALES VERSION OF A FUN MUSICAL!
The letter consisted of cut-out magazine letters, and it demanded that Cheryl be recast.
But Kevins not too worried yet, and as they say, the show must go on.
Its truly magical, and I hope you all watch this number at least twice.
He hasnt told Fred about it yet because he knows it will upset him.
So for now, Veronica says our garage is your garage, only Hiram doesnt agree.
A young man never forgets his first car, Hiram says as he walks away.
And as Archie expected, Fred is not happy.
Speaking of things being ruined, Jug betrays Kevins confidentiality and tells Betty about the Black Hood letter.
Does Jug think that documenting the musical means documenting things like this?
I told you they never shouldve given him a camera!
And while one friendship heals, another is…not looking great.
Archie quickly sits down with Betty.
So Archie poses the question of who should be playing Chris and who should be playing Sue?
(Side note: Jug is creepily filming this whole conversation!
I feel like this assignment is revealing something about Jug, and Im not comfortable with it.)
It turns out, musical really can save the world this town (and also, this show).
Apparently he wont return her calls and shes worried about him.
This time, Kevin goes to Cheryl and tells her that he has no choice but to recast.
But the role of Carrie STILL doesnt go to Ethel.
Not to mention that things are terrible with Hal, which leaves only Alices frayed relationship with Betty.
Alice accepts, and Betty is literally the only person in the world whos happy about this.
Im not even convinced Alice is happy about it.
Put back on that leather jacket, Alice!
Its such a nice gesture that it makes Fred cry.
Well, unless hes crying about his sons terrible taste in cars.
It could go either way.
(He also has a shirt on for some reason?)
But the group number isnt the main event right now.
I burned one house down, Ill happily burn down another.
And that brings us to the big show!
but she swears theyre for her vision board.
A vision board for murder??
Jug then passes an angry Moose in the hallway while Veronica applauds Chucks behavior throughout rehearsals.
It seems hes officially redeemed.
Chic, who shows up at the musical after not answering his motherss calls.
It reads: I am back from the dead.
All those who escaped me before will die.
And then he signs it B.H.
which seems unnecessary, but whatever.
I guess attribution is always helpful?
And thats where we end things: Murder in the middle of a musical!
What else did you expect from aRiverdalemusical?!
Im partly convinced that every episode ofRiverdaleshould be a musical.
(And Im FULLY convinced that every episode should involve Archie snapping like his life depends on it.)
