The angel of death is loose in Riverdale, but will Fred Andrews be its first casualty?
Welcome back to Riverdale, everybody!
Or, as Jugheads voiceover put it, at its heart, its a haunted town.
Credit: Dean Buscher/The CW
But also, almost.
Actually, I wanted him to but we were interrupted by Southside Serpents.
Lets have a chat.
They only need to know when you do.
And even then, I wouldnt tell YOUR mother anything unless you want to end up living with nuns.
Thankfully, before Betty can overshare any more, Archie calls her, and she quickly spreads the news.
Fun fact: Apparently, drinking their expensive booze is the No.
1 way to piss off rich people!
and heads to the hospital.
Or at least what Archie is ready to tell them.
He explains that the perp shot Fred and then ran.
So really, its a pretty boring story.
(Writer to writer, you might want to workshop that one, dude.)
According to Archie, the shooter wasnt wearing a ski mask; it was a HOMEMADE HOOD!
Geez, know the difference, Keller.
The shooter also had green eyes, and thats all Archie is willing to say at this point.
The guy was probably out of his head on meth or the jingle jangle.
Im sorry, WHAT?!
Is there a big meth business in Riverdale?2.
What is the jingle jangle?!
With that, Jug heads off to ask his new serpent buddies to do some digging.
That he is, Mrs. Coop.
And yet somehow the story ends with Archie comforting Veronica?
However, he does object when Veronica decides to unpack Freds personal belongings.
But, realizing what it means to be a good girlfriend, she refuses.
(Spoiler: Im right.
The guys not there.)
Its there that Betty voices her concern about Jughead growing closer to the Serpents.
He explains that hes not going to be staying with his new foster family.
(New mystery alert!)
After years of abuse, Cheryl is done.
As she puts it, Things are going to be different now…better.
Well, better if your name is Cheryl.
And Hermione does NOT appreciate the accusation.
Now, I should slap you for what youre insinuating, but Im not a violent person.
What do you want to bet that last part was a lie?
After Fred was shot, Archie froze.
He didnt go into hero mode after all.
Instead, he was a coward.
How did she get in?!
(So shes a witch now?
Is there something in that lipstick?)
She promises that Fred will be just fine, and you know what?Shes right!
On impact, he wakes up.
(The most unrealistic part of this vision?
Veronica would NEVER choose royal blue for Bettys bridesmaid dress.)
When Fred wakes up, Archie promises to protect him, and its a promise he intends to keep.
Then they inform him, With or without the jacket, youre a Serpent.
(Talk about a strange thing to be so hung up on.)
But if they were, were they also behind what happens next?
But not for long.
Once shes alone, the angel of death strangles her (in a very bloody way).
And that marks victim No.
Overall, I enjoyed this premiere.
As a whole, Im ready for what comes next.
