Everything I did was to protect my country.
Id do it again.
The problem is, I cant say any of that.
Credit: David Burnett; Little, Brown and Company
All I can tell you is that I have always acted with the security of my country in mind.
And I always will.
I see Carolyn in the corner, reading something on her phone, responding.
Little, Brown and Company
I keep eye contact in case I need to drop everything and act on it.
Something from General Burke at CENTCOM?
From the under secretary of defense?
From the Imminent Threat Response Team?
The other shoe could drop at any minute.
We thinkwe hopethat we have another day, at least.
But the only thing that is certain is thatnothingis certain.
I say, returning my focus to this hearing.
What are you talking about?
Ive never called the leaders of ISIS.
What does ISIS have to do with this?
Before Ive completed my answer, I realize what Ive done.
I wish I could reach out and grab the words and stuff them back in my mouth.
But its too late.
He caught me when I was looking the other way.
Oh, he says.
So when I ask you whether youve called the leaders of ISIS, you say no, unequivocally.
But when the Speaker asks you whether youve called Suliman Cindoruk, your answer is to invoke executive privilege.
I think the American people can understand the difference.
Congressman Kearns, this is a matter of national security.
Its not a game ofgotcha.
This is serious business.
Whenever youre ready to ask a serious question, Ill be happy to answer.
An American died in that fight in Algeria, Mr. President.
I think the American people considerthatto be serious.
Nathan Cromartie was a hero, I say.
We mourn his loss.
I mourn his loss.
Youve heard his mother speak out on this, he says.
After what happened in Algeria, we disclosed nothing publicly.
She outed him as a CIA operative, too.
It was one gigantic shitstorm.
In her grief and pain, she practically wrote the script for the select committee hearing.
Dont you think you owe the Cromartie family answers, Mr. President?
Nathan Cromartie was a hero, I say again.
He was a patriot.
Ive spoken privately to Mrs. Cromartie, and Im deeply sorry for what happened to her son.
Beyond that, I wont comment.
I cant, and I wont.
I dont negotiate with terrorists.
Whatever you want to call it, he says.
Hashing things out with them.
Coddling them
I dont coddle
The lights flicker overhead, two quick blinks of interruption.
Some groans in response, and Carolyn Brock perks up, writing herself a mental note.
The congressman uses the pause to jump in for another question.
Engaging is not surrendering.
Are we here to have a foreign-policy debate, Congressman?
Id hate to interrupt this witch hunt with a substantive conversation.
Engaging the enemy is one way to put it, Mr. President.
Coddling is another way.
I do notcoddleour enemies, I say.
Nor do I renounce the use of force in dealing with them.
Force is always an option, but I will not use it unless I deem it necessary.
Tell them about your time as a POW.
If my advisers had their way, it would have been just about the only thing I ever discussed.
But I never gave in.
Some things you just dont talk about.
Are you finished, Mr. Pres
No, Im not finished.
I already explained all this to House leadership, to the Speaker and others.
I told you I couldnt have this hearing.
But you didnt do that, did you?
You couldnt resist the chance to haul me in and score points.
So let me say to you publicly what I said to you privately.
They are athreatto our national security.
If I have to lose this office to protect this country, I will do it.
But make no mistake.
And I never will.
My questioner is not the least bit deterred by the insults Ive hurled.
He is undoubtedly encouraged by the fact that his questions have now firmly found their place under my skin.
Whats the toughest decision youve made this week, Mr. Kearns?
Which bow tie to wear to the hearing?
Which side to part your hair for that ridiculous comb-over that isnt fooling anybody?
Lately I spend almost all my time trying to keep this country safe.
That requires tough decisions.
Sometimes those decisions have to be made when there are many unknowns.
Sometimes all the options are flat-out shitty, and I have to choose the least flat-out-shitty one.
Of course I wonder if Ive made the right call and whether it will work out in the end.
So I just do the best I can.
And live with it.
I know you know that, of course.
But I also know its hard to pass up an easy cheap shot.
In the corner, Danny Akers has his hands up, signaling for a time-out.
Yeah, you know what?
Youre right, Danny.
Im done with this.
I lash out and whack the microphone off the table.
I knock over my chair as I get to my feet.
The President Is Missing 2018 by James Patterson and William Jefferson Clinton
