Now they even have him doing his own camera work! Oh Lord, Ive heard enough. Harrison, c’mon get in here with the date card. Credit: Rick Rowell/ABC Onyeka is raring to get more competitive with her fellow ladies for Coltons attention. Chop chop, girls! Put those pens to paper! ABC You ever spoke in front of 200 people before? Anyhow, his advice for HG is pretend like everybodys in their underwear....
I repeat: We! Ilikethe bloopers, okay? But I also know that these bloopers Ive apparently been waiting all season for will only last five minutes. Credit: ABC They hadbeefyAustraliansand hot tub appointments and a bona fide marriage proposal). And who are we kidding, itsArie how wild could these bloopers really be? So weve got that to look forward to. And these women these Krystals, these Bekahs, these swear-you-never-saw-them-once-on-this-season brunettes have come to play....
See ya, Singapore and thanks for the leech therapy! Anyhow, the first one-on-one date goes to… Never Been Kissed Heather! Colton: Good to see ya! Credit: ABC Their date kicks off with an authentic boat tour of everything Thailand has to offer. Meanwhile, back at the hotel… something is wrong with Kirpas chin. Is all hope lost? ABC (It was quite the fake-out, gotta say.) Heather declares triumphantly after the smooch....
In other words, this is as good as it gets kids! Trust me, the host-turned-reality-check says. Hopefully I can hold onto his arms!! making it official that Becca gets excited about all the wrong things on dates. To make things worse, Becca also doesnt know when to shut up. Heres the thing about riding a motorcycle: You cant really talk to the other person on the motorcycle. You both have helmets on, youre sitting behind him, and then theres all the wind....
Harrison arrives at the mansion and tells all the women to put on their glasses. Just joshin hes there to drop off the date card, of course. Let the pirate training begin! Credit: ABC The pirate training, by the way, looks a lot likeAmerican Gladiators. Honestly, this sucks, she pouts. It brings out all of my insecurities and I start to spiral. ABC (Am I the only one who started chanting, Spi-ral!...
Did you think Colton was going to jump the fence this week, rose lovers? Thats certainly what TeamBachelorwanted us to believe. What this episode lacked in fence-jumping, however, it made up for in back-stabbing and smack-talk. ABC Lets kick things off with… #SadCam! Pack your bags, ladies! The next stop on this journey is Coltons hometown of Denver. ABC But first… filler. Instead, Ben gives Colton these words of wisdom: Lean in, be intentional....
Was it good for you, rose lovers? So, were you satisfied? The action picks up right where we left it last week, with Colton pulling Chris Harrison aside. Credit: ABC Ah, good times. Harrison, meanwhile, bids our Bachelor farewell with a brilliantly-executed handshake. Yes, go forth and fornicate young man! ABC (Or, in Bachelor parlance, exploring their feelings on a deeper level.) Fantasy Suite date No. 1 goes to Tayshia....
Not only that, its the final week before hometown dates. Where does the time go? (In this case, directly out the window.) Credit: ABC Now for some shocking news: There will be no rose ceremony this week! Youre in the shot! They drive off to the quaint medieval town of Barga for a leisurely stroll and a picturesque picnic. ABC We found that passion, gushes Arie. Meanwhile, back at the hotel, Jacqueline is feeling anythingbutpassion....
Thank goodness for Ross, amirite? If Arie proposed to me today, Id probably say no, she admits. But if he proposes to her in four to six days? Credit: ABC Wellthatmight be a whole different story. The Bachelor meets her in the middle of the desert, where a dune buggy awaits. But as we all know, nothing aboutThe Bacheloris normal. ABC Kendalls worries only intensify as the Fantasy Suite approaches....
We start with Le Host, Mr. Chris Harrison, sitting down with Arie in a picturesque Paris park. Are you shocked to find yourself falling in love with more than one woman? he asks, knowing full well that the answer is yes. Credit: ABC This week is really important, notes our Bachelor. Next Harrison drops by the houseboat to tell the ladies that this week features the dreaded two-on-one date. We cut to a round of obligatory anguished reaction shots…but Krystal in particular knows that shes fed....
The women head to Lake Tahoe to eat bugs Whos feeling 22? BEKAH, THATS WHO. After weeks of mystery, the woman-child finally revealed her age, and spoiler alert! Credit: ABC shes not old enough to rent a car! Theres also a decent chance shes still in college? Anyway, well get to that. Because its not like Los Angeles has clear blue skies literally every day of the year or anything....
Man, that was a long To Be Continued wasnt it, rose lovers? You said I bullied you back it up! Ugh send both of these fools home, hey. Credit: ABC Okay Onyeka and Nicole, get the eff out. On to Vietnam, and Coltons first #SadCam of the week! I would definitely eat that sushi roll, Colton tells us with a cheeky grin.Gross, dude. ABC Am I the only one whos surprised to hear Caelynn be so petty?...
Now, on to week 5! And wouldnt you know it, its on a yacht. Her insecurities arent helped when even more competition walks in the door. Credit: Paul Hebert/ABC Awww, welcome back, Maquel! Good to see you…but you probably shouldnt get too comfortable, honey. I have to really see if there could be a connection to move things forward, says Arie. ABC I dont want to waste her time. I was left with, literally, my belongings in trash bags, recalls Chelsea, tearing up....
