Have you ever wondered what the quickest trip to Las Vegas would be like?
Fortunately, EW has done it for you.
And trust us, it was not easy (or wise) for us to do it either.
Credit: Gavin Stevens/Fox
But it was all in the name of, well, a new TV show.
Its a common flight for those of us who live in Los Angeles.
I kept a detailed and timecoded journal for the night.
Frank Micelotta/Fox/PictureGroup
Lets see if dreams really do come true.
WTF am I doing?
I have to be on the radio in the morning.
Frank Micelotta/Fox/PictureGroup
What am I doing?
3:06 p.m.:Still in the Uber.
This is actually the second time Ive done this trip for work.
Frank Micelotta/Fox/PictureGroup
That premiere was also in the air, but the party was at the Palazzo.
Not saying I remember that night well, but it happened.
3:29 p.m.:Now Im in a charter bus headed for the airline.
Frank Micelotta/Fox/PictureGroup
Were heading for a nearby airplane hanger.
Shoot, I forgot gum!
3:47 p.m.:A pilot is walking into the hanger in front of me.
Frank Micelotta/Fox/PictureGroup
He better be good.
3:48 p.m.:Wait, he just turned around and its Dylan McDermott in full pilot gear.
c’mon tell me hes not flying this plane.
Natalie Abrams
4:07 p.m.:I walk onto the tarmac to go through security.
Its a single metal detector, so Im on theLA to Vegas-branded plane in no time.
This is the only way to travel.
Its not actually branded Jackpot Airlines, so if they lose my luggage, who do I sue?
4:10 p.m.:Theres a Jackpot Airlines cocktail menu awaiting me.
4:15 p.m.:Plane fills out with cast, press, and tastemakers.
4:31 p.m.:The shows creator, Lon Zimmet, welcomes the crowd to Jackpot Airlines.
His mom told him this was the first premiere at 30,000 feet.
Sorry, Lon, your mom is wrong.
Levitan jokes that McDermott will be attempting to land the plane when we make it to Vegas.
Call your loved ones now!
Oh great, airplane crash humor right before we take off.
Did I mention I was afraid to fly?
Mother nature still has her curves, so lets take a peek.
5:02 p.m.:We screen the pilot episode while real flight attendants start handing out drinks and snacks.
Yeah, thats how short this flight is.
The flight attendant hands me two small Johnnie Walker Black Labels.
She wants to keep serving everyone but knows she has to go sit down.
A second attendant follows with cups of ice.
Lets get this party started!
Matula and Graham stay in character as flight attendants, welcoming us to Vegas as we exit the plane.
We jump on a shuttle bus, and basically, everyone around me is drinking.
Rules dont apply anymore.
At least we pass the front of the hotel and catch the tail end of the water show.
I feel like Im inOceans 11, except without all the money.
Lets go win some money!
Theyve given up and are staying in Vegas now.
This is their home.
6:42 p.m.:The bus finally makes it to the Bellagio.
As soon as I walk in, flight attendant-dressed cocktail waitresses ply us with alcohol.
Its a well-known flight for people who live in L.A., he says.
Its called the stripper flight.
He likes the idea, but it doesnt sound like its in the cards.
I doubt it, he says.
Though now with Fox and Disney becoming the same company, who knows what will happen?
It totally makes sense that they would be on this flight.
7:10 p.m.:I chat with the shows creator Lon for a few minutes.
Weve both done this L.A. to Vegas trip several times.
That flight homealwaysgets delayed.
The line, by the way, is: I just want to throw up in my own home.
But he quickly drops the Captain Dave act for some genuine honesty about joining the show.
I had done a couple things that didnt work, McDermott says.
Dylans not funny, are you sure?'
7:25 p.m.:Im having the best time of my life, McDermott says of this role.
Its the best way to go to work.
You laugh all day, they pay me, they feed me.
McDermott concludes our chat by saying hell see me at the craps table.
7:30 p.m.:Second drink down.
Some quick bites of pizza to stay afloat.
Time to go gamble.
7:35 p.m.:Theres a row of craps tables not too far from the party.
I settle in at one and watch my money quickly dwindle.
Welcome to Lost Wages.
8:03 p.m.:McDermott hits the craps table next to me, still in full pilot gear.
I wonder if passersby think hes a real pilot and are at all worried.
8:08 p.m.:McDermott is killing it on the craps table.
Hes enjoying this way too much.
8:18 p.m.:What time is it?
Everyone responds: Captain Dave Time!
8:30 p.m.:Many of the shows writers join my craps table.
We play until the very last second.
I only end up losing $20.
8:44 p.m.:Have to be back at 8:45 p.m.!
Luckily the cash out is so close.
9 p.m.:Were still here.
Why am I not still gambling?
9:05 p.m.:Everyone stumbles back to the buses.
Most everyone doesnt want to leave.
This is the least Ive ever lost in Vegas.
9:43 p.m.:We finally move again.
Imagine a bunch of drunk people being stuck on a bus.
10 p.m.:We make it back to the airport to fly home.
Security is much more lax.
Theyre only checking every fifth person or so.
10:11 p.m.:As soon as we board the plane, the flight attendants are waiting to offer alcohol.
10:41 p.m.:The lights dim, but there are noticeably less people on this flight home.
Many people had that same idea to stay in Vegas.
10:49 p.m.:The flight takes off back to Los Angeles.
I fear this journal is not nearly as cool as I hoped it would be.
Should I have raged?
Would that have made this better?
Should I have caught a flight home the next morning?
Nah, Im not that cool.
I have to be live on the radio in a few hours.
Oh, why did I do this to myself?!
10:53 p.m.:We see a funny video come on screen.
Clearly you didnt want to stop gambling because youre still flying with us.
Oh right, Im afraid to fly.
Thanks for the reminder.
Oh hey, the show debuts soon.
Yeah, I wrote that in my notebook to remind myself to write this story soon.
10:55 p.m.:I should call this story An Unfiltered Diary AboutLA to Vegas.
A reminder to note thatYoure the Worsts Kether Donohue is in the pilot.
The second episode has Dermott Mulroney taking the lead in the cabin when Capt.
Dave breaks his arm.
I wish I could show you how poorly Im writing this.
Maybe Ill take a pic of this page to show you how fantastically lame this is.Yaaaaasss.
11:02 p.m.:I have to go to work tomorrow.
11:29 p.m.:Wheels touch down.
Everyone claps and starts cheering, Captain Dave!
Actual captain welcomes everyone home.
Someone yells, Thank you!
He responds, No, thankyou!
HE CAN HEAR US?!
11:39 p.m.:Get off plane.
Walk among private jets.
Shhh, I touched the front of one.
11:41 p.m.:No one will go to In N Out with me.
11:57 p.m.:Transpo back to the car lot.
12: 15 p.m.:Home alive, an hour later than expected, but Im alive.
What happened in Vegas did not stay in Vegas.
I really wish I went to In N Out.
LA to Vegasdebuts Tuesday, Jan. 2 at 9 p.m.
