We are barely into the final season ofJane the Virgin.
Jane admitted that her life was a telenovela.
But first, we have to deal with Jason.
Credit: Scott Everett White/The CW
He shows up at Janes door with flowers and all the necessities for a good old fashioned country picnic.
Jane would rather not scar her child for life.
She turns around and is faced with another dilemma.
Xo shares the revelation with Alba and Jane.
It seems River makes twice as much money as Rogelio.
The three Villanueva women put their heads together and decide Jane is the best candidate to break the news.
Particularly when Xo plays the cancer card.
Rogelio reacts as you would expect.
He behaves like a small child.
Question: How do people come back to life?Answer: He wasnt technically dead.
Question: Why doesnt he remember us?Answer: He fell and bumped his head and has amnesia.
Question: Is Mommy still married to Michael?Answer: Legally, but not really.
Question: What about me and Daddy?
Will you forget us?Answer: Never!
Anna screams at him, DO NOT TOUCH MY BODY!
Jane instructs Mateo to use his words.
Elsa kicks Mateo on behalf of her sister before Jane physically hauls Mateo away.
Petra calls across the lobby for her to discipline her kid instead of coddling him.
Someone needs to tell it to Rogelio.
He pleads his case to River, who responds back with a soliloquy worthy of an Emmy nomination.
Shes the bigger deal in the United States.
She deserves the higher paycheck.
Shes finally equal to her male counterparts.
Unfortunately, when he turns to kick said box, he accidentally boots River in the face.
Why was she on the ground behind the box?
Looking for a contact lens?
Participating in some light yoga?
What you should probably know is half of Rivers face is now paralyzed for the time being.
While Rogelio does some major damage control, Jane suffers through an exhaustive text message exchange with Petra.
Both send each other helpful articles that bend toward their view of parenting.
Janes views are loving and nurturing.
Petras are firm and demanding.
The family must sit in a neutral space.
In this instance, its a tent in the middle of Petras penthouse.
Whoever is holding the feeling stick has permission to speak.
No one can criticize.
Everyone will be heard.
Mateo goes first and sheepishly confesses that he feels left out.
The twins justify their right to ostracize Mateo and all hell breaks loose.
When the twins walk together to the same corner, Jane asks them to separate.
Petra gives them permission to stay together.
Can someone check Google for a codependency article?
If the miniature Fight Club wasnt enough, Jason shows up to ask Jane out again.
Jane wonders if a coffee date would count as a reason to hand over the divorce papers?
Jason is not willing to negotiate.
Jane laughs and then refuses.
For those of you playing along at home, that means Jane will catch feelings for him.
Jane agrees to fish on a lake in a boat with a rod and hooks and worms.
Anything for the divorce papers.
Anything to prove that she does not have feelings for Jason.
Do you know who else doesnt have feelings?
But the show must go on.
With some careful camera angles, River and Rogelio still command their performances.
And how in the world did Brooke Shields get her mouth to contort that way?
Rogelio tells Xo that River is a rock star.
He praises her commitment to her craft, noting that she deserves every dollar she has been promised.
With that said, Rogelio feels he deserves to be paid well, too.
Hes been fighting for years.
Rogelio has always wanted to be famous in America.
Valid point, Rogelio.
Once Rogelio explains his viewpoint to River, she claims she will fight for equal pay for Rogelio.
She wants to stand beside her co-worker with her head held high.
Naturally, it turns out that shes doing it for the publicity, but whatever.
Rogelio will take it.
Especially when Jason confronts him, claiming Jane is his wife.
Jason doesnt like that he died and Rafael came swooping in.
Doesnt Rafael know Jane is Jasons soulmate?
Is Jane Jasons soulmate?
Do the feelings transfer to the physical body when the soul isnt really into it anymore?
Janes not so sure.
Jason is totally different from Michael.
He likes guns and horses and fishing and camping.
Jason doesnt like when Jane talks all the time and has trouble keeping up with her telenovela life.
The editors didnt have to CGI the red glowing lights above her heart.
How do we know?
Because she tells Petra.
Holding the feeling stick.
At first, Jane tries to flush the air with Petra in regard to Rafael.
She apologizes for dominating his time and totally understands why Petra would feel left out.
Petra barks back at Jane, informing her that she is the reason Petra feels left out.
Jane hasnt confided in her about anything, let alone the return of Michael/Jason.
She wants to know about Jason?
Does she even like Jane?
Of course, Petra likes Jane.
They even have a bonding moment where they hug each other like sisters.
Jane lays all the Jason details out for Petra and looks expectantly at her friend for answers.
The bottom line: Touching Jason is like touching a stranger.
Petra quickly points out, Because he is a stranger.
Jane listens when Petra advises her to let Jason go back to Montana.
She doesnt owe it to him to help Jason regain his memory.
She needs to protect her own heart and her family.
Distance is the only way she can move on.
Jason agrees and apologizes for pushing her before.
But you cant force it.
Plus, he couldnt stand someone talking to him as much as Jane babbles.
That night, Jane and Rafael have some grown-up time.
Then Rafael and Jane talk about having more kids.
Both would love to adopt!
Look how happy everyone is in episode 3!
The next morning, Jason arrives at Janes house with the divorce papers in hand.
Hes leaving for Montana the next day but wanted to gift Jane with a fishing pole.
Then she hands him back the fishing pole because she will never use it.
Before he turns away to leave, Jane envelopes him in a sweet yet sad hug goodbye.
Suddenly, dozens of flashbacks bombard his mind.
Mental pictures of Jane laughing, crying, and kissing.
Glimpses of dates, an engagement, and a wedding.
A smile creeps across his face.
His eyes swell with huge tears.
