Good evening ladies and remaining gentlemen…
Its 2018.
Marijuana is finally allowed and sexual harassment finally isnt, its gonna be a good year!
Did you hear about Willem Dafoe?
Dont do that!'
Im not even the most powerful Seth in the room tonight.
[The camera cuts toThe Interviewactor-writer Seth Rogen].
Hey, remember whenhewas the guy making trouble with North Korea?
They tried to get a woman to host this show, they really did.
And they said, Hm, where is it?
And they said, Its at a hotel.
Long story short, Im your host tonight.
The only name that could make his angrier is the Hillary Mexico Salad Association.
Well, I think its time to address the elephant not in the room.
Harvey Weinstein isnt here tonight because, well, Ive heard hes crazy and difficult to work with.
[The audience groans].
Itll sound like that.
The show goes on.
I was happy to hear theyre going to do another season ofHouse of Cards.
Is Christopher Plummer available for that too?
I hope he can do a southern accent because Kevin Spacey sure couldnt … Oh was that too mean?
Meyers: Call Me by Your Name is nominated for best motion picture.
Its a gay coming of age film.Billy Eichner: Said Kevin Spacey: You lost me at of age.
…. and you thought it was mean when I said he didnt have a Southern accent.
For photos of actors and actresses arriving on the red carpet, see ourGolden Globes 2018 gallery.
And see thecomplete list of Golden Globes winners here.
