What happens is…nothing.
Perry saunters in wearing jeans and a T-shirt, a plaid jacket, and a baseball cap.
He greets the waitresses, who appear to know him and who appear to exhibit signs of normal respiration.
He smiles the sweet, friendly smile that cameras and those same shrieking fans love.
He swings into a booth.
And no one, he insists, could be any happier about the dimming spotlight than Luke Perry.
“The teenage days are gone!”
“Coming-of-age movies are gone for me.
I mean, come on, the hairline just won’t have it!”
Why a cowboy bio?
“The second it was brought to my attention, it was like Excalibur.
It was the sword that was stuck in the stone.
I couldn’t believe they were just letting it sit there.”
“Not to be vulgar, but I felt it in my nuts.”
To qualify, Perry studied for months with bull-riding pros.
“But Luke was very insistent.
At the end there he got very badly hurt.
He got kicked.”
“Aww, I got thrown on my shoulder.
And he jokes about his colleague as only a fellow object of overwrought teen adoration can.
And I said, ‘Well, everybody’s got their ownBuffy the Vampire Slayer!’
The reality is, Luke’s a sweet and very caring guy.
He puts on this cooler-than-thou act, which is half mocking himself.”
“It’s in trouble,” he says.
“I know that the show is not great now.
I believe it was a great show at one time.
Then it went to being a good show.
And now it’s just another show.
Priestley agrees: “In the beginning, the shows stood on their own.
We tried to deal with issues of substance.
Now everything is almost happening.
You know, [Brenda]almostgot pregnant, [Kelly]almostgot raped.”
“It would be easy to pack it in and let the show taper off,” he acknowledges.
“Originally, nobody wanted me but him.
Now, in the last season, I’m not gonna become lethargic.
I think we got problems and we need to fix ‘em.”
And no one else in the cast besides Perry has called me with complaints.”
One idea for [after] next year is to start with an entirely new cast!"
“I love him.
It’s like we’re brothers.
He’s also like Tori’s older brother on the set.”
And if that means taking creative liberties or creative control, I’ll do that.
“I have a good relationship with production.
And few people in this world do speak with conviction, you know.
“They want to bepolitically erect!
and not offend anybody.”
If Shannen Doherty doesn’t return to90210, that’s okay with her castmate.
He temporarily becomes a sports analyst: “We can certainly spread the story lines around.
I don’t feel there’s a tremendous need to replace Shannen with somebody.
People thought the Chicago Bulls would suck when Michael Jordan left, and they’re kickin’ ass.
I saw Scottie Pippen skyin' over a guy the other day and it was unreal!
We’ve got depth, we’ve got a good bench, we can handle it.
It’s not a problem.”
I can work with her fine now.
I don’t have to get Shannen out of my sight so I can work, no.
If she bothers me the day she comes in and she’s late, I let her have it.
I think that’s why Shannen and I have the relationship that we do.”
What Perry does want from what will likely be his final season is more realism.
“I wouldn’t want it to become likeMelrose Place who’s sleeping with who.
I don’t want it to revolve around any college.
“We used to take a stab at have contests about who could do the coolest.
I said, ‘Guys, just forget about it.
Obviously, Luke Perry hopes8 Secondswill widen his opportunities as an actor.
But the project, one senses, means even more to him than that.
“It’s about love and life.
It’s a Greek tragedy.
It’s a buddy story,” he ticks off.
“It’s action.
It’s man and beast.
And it wasn’t about this superhero-like character it was about a human being.”
“I know I’ve got a lot to learn.
But I’m better than I thought I was.”
Tabloid rumors that the two met when she mailed him her bra are wrong, Perry says patiently.
I thought, Oh, yeah, that’s funny, it’s just indicative of who she is.
I tore it up and threw it in the trash.
Right in the middle of Hollywood!
I said, ‘All right, you’re free to’t win.'”
Now, as a husband, he’s relieved to be disqualified from Win-a-Date-With-Luke contests.
“I know where I’m going now.
It’s not all about the career anymore.”
“We talk a lot about our relationships with our wives,” says Stephen Baldwin.
“And he always gets mushy, talking about his wife and how much he loves her.”
These days, the quick thinker who back in 1992 held his own onCelebrity Jeopardy!
(excelling in the category of gases) is looking at a new range of scripts.
“They’re becoming a little more action-y, romance stuff.
There’s some erotic-thriller things out there.
I want to have a look at the lawyer and the stockbroker.
I want to have a look at all of it!”
“I would love to see him take dance lessons,” says Avildsen.
“I think he could be a terrific dancer.
He should learn to tap!
You know, I’ve always wanted to do the Gene Kelly story.
I could certainly see Luke going in that direction.”
“He’ll be on a 40-acre fun ranch and I’ll visit him.
And he’ll visit me in my urban life.
We’ll probably both ) be fat and bald and married.”
But Perry’s got his own ideas about the future.
“All the [90210] madness made me doubt myself as an actor.
I don’t anymore, and now I’m pissed at myself that I ever did.”
Pissed, Luke Perry seems more fully formed than he ever was as a sideburned, shirtless pinup.
“I feel better than I ever have about where I’m going.
The frenzy dying away forces people to look at the clearer picture.
What’s all this about?
Get the s out of the way and let’s see what this is about!
No forks clatter to the floor, no girls giggle as Luke Perry puts on his baseball cap.
He hikes his jeans up over his narrow hips.
He waves goodbye to the cashier.
He leaves the diner a free man.
