Even his ex-wife Demi Moore joined in on the abuse.
Bruce considered the end of our marriage his biggest failure.
Bruce, dont be so hard on yourself, you had much bigger failures.
Credit: Frederick M. Brown/Getty Images
Willis, 63, had the last laugh, though.
Buckle up, its ass whippin time!
-Gordon-Levitt
Is this going to be on Netflix?
Frederick M. Brown/Getty Images
I want people to see it.
-Glaser
Your daughters must be so proud of their father, Ashton Kutcher.
-Glaser
Ed Norton used to run around back in the day with Courtney Love.
Tommaso Boddi/WireImage
Perhaps I should say that in a more respectful way.
Ed Norton has AIDS.
-Pollak
Lil Rel, Ive been meaning to apologize for calling the police about your barbecue.
-Shepherd
Hollywood wouldnt be Hollywood if they didnt reward a man for aging into mediocrity.
It was perfect formula for success.
We may not have had a conversation in 30 years, but well have something more important.
-Shepherd
When I look at Dennis Rodman, I immediately think of the n-word.
-Stewart
We have so so many celebrities here.
-Stewart
Bruce and I live in the same town of Bedford.
He has a beautiful house and the interior design is amazing.
He wanted everything inside to look mid-century modern, except his new wife.
-Stewart
Kevin Pollack, what the f is my chiropractor doing here?
-Rodman
Dennis Rodman, you look like the genie when you rub a magic crack pipe.
-Irrera
Comedy Central roasts only the best people.
Bruce, Donald Trump, that guy fromBaywatch.
-Irrera
Tonight we honor the reason the world has a Vin Diesel.
-Ross
I met Rumer.
I guess thats the name you give when youre not 100 percent sure who the dad is.
-Ross
I cant wait to see your next project,Die Hard 6: Natural Causes.
-Ross
I look at our marriage likeThe Sixth Sense.
You were dead the whole time.
-Moore
Joseph played a younger me in Looper.
He couldnt pull it off.
There is one actor who successfully played me.
It was Demi Moore.
-Willis
The Comedy Central Roast of Bruce Willisairs July 29 on Comedy Central.
