Welcome to week two ofBachelor in Paradise, rose lovers!
So much to discuss dancing vaginas, the first rose ceremony, and Coltons endless capacity for self-sabotage.
Lets get to it!
Credit: ABC
Naturally, thats the exact opposite of what Tia thinks is happening.
My feelings really havent changed, she says.
This could be the be the start of an amazing relationship.
ABC
(And yes, Astrid, Tia says her vaginadiddance a little when Colton kissed her.)
Im trying to stay transparent with you, he says.
I came on this beach to be selfish and to figure out what I want…
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I feel like I owe it to myself to explore what I want with other people, too.
you’re able to imagine how well that goes over with Tia.
Colton refuses to lead Tia on for the sake of extending his stay in Paradise.
ABC
(So close, you blonde buffoon.)
In the end, Tia gives Chris her rose… and its a move she will come to regret.
Kenny and Krystal and ChrisKenny gets the date card and asks the Glitter Queen to accompany him.
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says Krystal, who feels a special bond with Kenny because theyve both suffered through the two-on-one experience.
Though Kenny deserves better than Krystal, Im glad he gets her rose.
(Next: Who moved Kennys cheese?)
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When Colton hears about the Chris-Krystal dalliance, he marches off to inform Tia that her man is garbage.
She is not amused.
Jordan counters by setting up a sunset dinner date with Annaliese on the beach, and she LOVES it.
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Hes not just the Zoolander model that we get from Beccas season, she gushes.
Annaliese gives him the rose but competition is on its way… from outer space.
Jordan is instantly smitten.
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Oh my God, he moans upon seeing Jenna.
Poor Annaliese is the only one whos not excited about this development.
We all keep forgetting that Annaliese and Jordan kinda had something, admits Astrid.
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She should be because Jordan and Jenna are getting along famously on their date.
As the day drags on and Jordan still doesnt return, Annalieses denial starts to weaken.
He was into you, too, Joe says weakly, trying to cheer her up.
tell Annaliese everything she needs to know.
And to his credit, Jordan immediately seeks out Blonde No.
1 to tell her that hes now way more into Blonde No.
Thats what every woman wants to hear, right?
Welp, at least they gave her a tissue during her confessional.
Its possible that the only person more heartbroken than Annaliese about the Jenna-Jordan development is David.
Stop trying to have what I have, Jordan fumes, as Jenna tries to laugh it off.
Stop being mad, she tells him.
With his c thus unblocked, Kevin gets Astrids rose.
Kendall and Grocery JoeIs it too soon to declare these two the most adorable coupleParadisehas ever produced?
(Next: Whats Venmo John packing down there?)
Instead, Chelsea gives David her rose.
Angela and EricOn Monday, Nysha gave Eric her rose.
Clearly, that rose Angela gave to Venmo John on Monday night was of the friendship variety.
Hes thrilled Caroline is one of his celebrity crushes, after all.
(Whats that dude packin down there?
wonders Kevin with a chuckle.)
Free agents: Nysha, BibianaTwist!
But who will be there to save Bibi and Nysha come the next rose ceremony?
Honestly, Im not.
Seeing you is the last thing I expected today, he tells Becca.
And that just sort of messed me up.
The sooner we set him free, Bachelor Nation, the sooner Colton can find a modicum of peace.
and, on a much sadder note, Wills.
The ladies of Paradise dont deserve you, sir!
More importantly, you are now free to becomethe next Bachelor.
Make it happen, Fleiss!
Spotlight on Yuki:Everyones favorite goddess fromBachelor Winter Gameshas arrived!
So what if her signature cocktail is disgusting?
When Yuki smiles, the world smiles with her.
Thatll do it for our week two hookup rundown, rose lovers.
Which couples are you rooting for (besides Kendall and Grocery Joe, of course)?
Why does anyone find Chris attractive?
And who the hell puts relish and/or avocado in their tuna fish?
Post your thoughts below!
Bachelor in Paradiseairs Mondays and Tuesdays at 8 p.m.
