American Idolis back, despite having averyoverwrought goodbyejust a couple of years ago.
To his left is Katy Perry, Americas Teenage Dream and also purveyor of internet teen slang.
And to her left is Luke Bryan, who is likely on a dirt road at this very moment.
Credit: Eddy Chen/ABC
ButAmerican Idolisnt about these three!
Its about finding the next great American singer, like Kelly Clarkson or Carrie Underwood or Crystal Bowersox.
Okay, two out of three is not bad.
We start off auditions in New York.
First up isCatieTurner, who is a self-proclaimed strange girl.
She isa lotof energy.
Catie decides to sing her own song, called 21st Century Machine, which is historically a TERRIBLE decision.
But after a rough start, shes actuallyreallygood, and the song is legitimately worth a listen.
But heres the thing, Catie, if youre reading.
You are astrange bird.
And sometimes thats exactly what makes a good songwriter.
So do your weird thing, girl.
Luke Bryan says Ron is what this country represents, which is honestly super refreshing; good for Luke.
Ron sings James Bays Let It Go and gets a yes from Luke but a no from Katy.
It comes to Lionel, and he says no, too.
AT LEAST ON ABC.
Maddie Roppesings Rainbow Connection and gives some low-key Brandi Carlile vibes and she gets through, too.
And then theresKoby, who shows up with some crazy pants and a musical theater background.
Shes also singing an original song, but it doesnt feel as hopeful as Catys.
The whole thing feels like Rachel Berry exploded.
When Katy tries to tell her its not working, Koby just disagrees entirely.
But instead of giving up, shes heading toIdol.
My anxiety is palpable.
She decides to sing an original song because these kids are trying to kill me.
Turns out, shes not terrible anymore.
She follows up that with a song by Khalid, and you know what?
Good for Harper Grace.
Shes going to Hollywood.
Benjamin Glazeis up next.
Hes a cashier becausethatis how he thinks he can pick up girls.
And it shows during his audition, which is why all three judges say no.
And thats straight culture.
Thats the best part of this whole show.
People should always be allowed to follow their dreams, you know?!
Zach DOnofrioshows up next with socks for each of the judges because thats his shtick, ya know?
He sings The Way You Look Tonight about two octaves lower than I expected.
But you know what?
The more Zach sings, the better he gets.
Turns out, they all love him, and he goes to Hollywood.
As the night closes, were introduced toDennis Lorenzofrom West Philadelphia.
He sings Unaware by Alex Jones, which is what previous winner Trent Harmon auditioned with.
It bodes well for him, because with three yes votes, Dennis moves forward.
So, thats the newly revampedAmerican Idol.
All that it asks of you is that you tune in and judge for yourself.
How do you know when you see brilliance?
