The summer of 2008 broke history, and rebuilt it.
America suffered through a bitter presidential election on the road to a globewrecking financial crisis.
In theaters, cinematic generations were rising and falling.
Paramount
Last week:The Happening’sgood-bad terrible badness.
Next week: Pixar hits new spaced-out highs withWall-Eand toxic masculinity gets a love letter inWanted.
This week: Mike Myers had this funny idea about a love guru.
Ten years ago, Mariska Hargitay was merely the popular star of a long-running TV series.
In 2018, Mariska Hargitay is still a TV star, preparing to return for Year 20 ofSVU.
Around 2011 was the first time friends started admitting they watchedSVUas comfort food.
Hargitay’s still Hargitay.
And he threw it all away withThe Love Guru, a self-immolating labor of terrible love.
But those directors didn’t appear on screen.
Whereas Myers is all overThe Love Guru: a public spectacle of loud failure.
He stars as Guru Pitka, a new age-y self-helper living a charmed life in glorious cameo-strewn Hollywood.
Hard to explain why, it involves mommy issues and Justin Timberlake’s giant, errr, hockey stick.
Now, no movie that features a main character named Darren can ever be completely terrible.
Someone hands him a corn dog: “Is it made from dog?
Is it a dog’s thing?
Am I being Punk’d?
The badness ofLove Gurubecame historic, and the karmic stain that reverberated through our decade.
The story rotates around the Maple Leafs' Stanley Cup series against the Los Angeles Kings.
Myers is a Toronto native wholovesthe Leafs and since 2008, the Leafs have continued their decades-long championshipless streak.
Meanwhile, the Kings have won the Stanley Cuptwice.
But not everyone inThe Love Guruwas a loser.
He greets the celebrity cameos thus: “Mariska Hargitay, Jessica Simpson.Mariska Hargitay, Val Kilmer.”
Some stars burn bright into supernovas.
Say it to yourself morning, noon, and night: Mariska Hargitay, Mariska Hargitay, Mariska Hargitay…
