Cheesy Christmas movies are best when everyone involved is on the same page.
Ideally, the tone is unrepentantly cheesy.
If everyone has complete faith that the cheesiness will work, it will.
Credit: Everett Collection
It’s as simple as that.
But doubt can be a pernicious enemy.
Concern about making the movie “good” negates any chance it has.
Every cheesy Christmas movie is Orpheus walking out of the underworld without looking back at Eurydice.
It requires a complete conviction.
That is the biggest problem withChristmas Inheritance, the latest made-for-Netflix holiday offering.
What exactly do you think you’re doing here?"
who wants to take over as CEO.
Ellen also isn’t allowed to tell anyone who she is so people don’t treat her differently.
one person audibly says, “Mazel tov!”
Who is saying that and why?
That’s not what Jewish people say when we say cheers.
Haven’t you seenFiddler on the Roof?
And it’s not like “mazel tov” is how you say “Happy Hannukkah” either.
What is a “gifts company”?
Is it like Spencer’s Gifts?
Do they have physical stores?
What do they sell that has made them a multi-million dollar company?
We never figure that out.
How is the $100 budget a good challenge?
And Ellen makes clear she was only planning an overnight trip.
So even if she had to pay for every single meal herself, that’s still $33 each.
How is that supposed to be a challenge?
That is a generous budget.
How much does the inn cost per night?
But… how did Ellen even afford a single night at the inn?
A single room at the Grand Victorian costs $187.
Ellen’s bedroom has a separate sitting room with a couch.
That is specifically mentioned.
Why did Ellen need three suitcases for an overnight trip?
But she is taking a bus to an inn overnight to deliver some letters, and then coming back.
Why would she ever need three suitcases?
She never complains about her dad’s mission or its limited budget; she seems excited to prove herself.
The movie never gives us any reason to believe she’s not down-to-earth and smart.
Her three suitcases just make no sense.
Same goes for the gag about how she “doesn’t know how to dress for the weather.”
Why do they not think a jacket and scarf are appropriate?
What is with this ill-conceived and inconsistent attempt to turn her into a different sort of stereotype?
Like, this is presumably a college graduate.
Rich is not necessarily the same thing as “very dumb.”
(Of note here: Most people who live in New York City arenotmultimillionaires.
Except in this film, where according to Jake all New Yorkers are just like Ellen.)
Why is Ellen clumsy?
By some ancient and unbreakable law, all cheesy Christmas movie heroines need to be clumsy.
But again, all of that is completely inconsistent with the rest of her character.
We’re told Ellen is a snobby New York sophisticate and alifelong gymnast.
How does “clumsy” factor in?
Ellen’s dad is having an affair with his beautiful, age-appropriate secretary, Alice, right?
I mean, look at all of those familiar knowing glances.
His wife has been dead for 10 years, the man is entitled allowed to find love again.
Why does a girl tripping into a Christmas tree merit a cover story and two-page newspaper spread?
Why isn’t Ellen spending Christmas with her family?
Why wouldn’t she spend Christmas with him?
Or with terrible fiance’s family?
Why does no one care that Ellen is engaged?
That guy is Ellen’s fiance.
Jake is just like, “I’m not interested.
SHE IS OFF THE MARKET.
WHY DOES NO ONE ACKNOWLEDGE THAT?
She gives him his ring and runs away.
How does that not require a longer conversation?
Especially when it seems like they live together?
Does she really value her relationships that little?
How did she not realize that this year’s letter,the primary object of her missionwasn’t there?
Why would Jake exchange whipped cream for clotted cream?
This might be a small point, but every time I think about it, I’m infuriated anew.
But… of course he shouldn’t have to pay for the clotted cream.
Whipped cream isnot the sameas clotted cream.
A closer replacement would have been butter.
That would be soggy and terrible.
The movie portrays this guest as crotchety and demanding when he’s the one dealing with ludicrously incompetent service.
