“Everybody believes in accountability, until it’s their guy,” he said. He began by sprinkling jokes into his opening monologue before tackling the subject more seriously behind his talk-show desk. Thats not good, he said. Ronan isnt exactly known for his puff pieces about glamping. I dont know who does know. In a situation like this, Id normally call Les. And I get that there should be levels of response, but I understand why that disappearing happens....

You are the living history of late night is how Stephen Colbert started his latest conversation with Conan OBrien. You are the living history, though? Im not saying Colbert was insulting OBrien. This was the hosts second sitdown of the season. OBrien went onThe Late Showlast month, and here was Colbert onConan. They have the same job, supposedly, although Colberts mode is ascendant. OBrien asked Colbert about his recent trip to Russia, and I suspect he was hoping for sightseeing tips....

Thats like wanting credit for solving the crimes you committed. Its all on the new CBS dramaMurder, She Murdered. He folded like an origami Trump casino, Colbert said of the new order. fix the family separation problem through an executive order. His hands were tied, he said! Colbert exclaimed, echoing Trump. How could he end this? It was the Democrats, their laws, he said! Citing a Bowdoin College political science professor,Andrew Rudalevige, Colbert then wondered if anything had really changed....

Stephen Colbertmay not be a journalist himself, but he doesnt shy away from the uncomfortable questions, either. If he lies all the time, why wouldnt you attack him? Because there are good things and bad things. He added, But Im not gonna drink it cause Ill be poisoned. You understand that the economic recovery did not start on Jan. 1, 2017? The Fox News host did say that he doesnt entirely support Trump....

He didnt want him to win. Theres a name for that: the majority of American voters, Colbert said. Trump was planning on failing and walking away with the fame and the money, he continued. Or as the article describes it, This was a real-life version of Mel BrooksThe Producers. Now, in some ways it still is I mean, just look at all the happy Nazis. Melania was in tears and not of joy, Colbert read....

Stephen Colbertis giving George R.R. Martin some good-natured grief about his epic struggle to finishThe Winds of Winter. This is 700 pages long, Colbert said ofFire and Blood. Arent you supposed to be finishingThe Winds of Winterthis entire time? Not to add to the chorus of what has taken so long, but this is a 700-page detour! Theres a lot of stuff to write, Martin said. I should actually get home and get to work....

like dont make me picture your Button,' Colbert tweeted. There was much more for Colbert to unpack from Trumps barrage of start-of-the-year tweeting onThe Late Show. Soldiers are dangerously fleeing to South Korea. Rocket man now wants to talk to South Korea for first time. Perhaps that is good news, perhaps not we will see! Thats a little nonchalant. Maybe itll lead to peace, maybe itll lead to thermonuclear war....

Trump tweeted on Monday morning. I love riddles, Colbert taunted. I know this one! But why are you bringing it up, if youre not gonna do it? Thats like a surgeon saying, Its just a routine appendectomy. Also, I could kill you at anytime, but why would I do that? Okay, no count backwards from 10.' Trumps tweet came in response toaNew York Timesreportabout a 20-page letter to Mueller. Nothing says innocent like Trump trying to convince Mueller that he can pardon himself, Colbert joked....

Tuesday night, President Donald Trump will deliver his first State of the Union address to Congress. Will it be polarizing? Will you be watching? Credit: Scott Kowalchyk/CBS via Getty Images; Chris Kleponis-Pool/Getty Images Whats one guarantee that Colberts willing to make about President Trumps speech? It will make me miss Barack Obama. And George W. Bush. And pretty much every other president, he quips. And whats one guarantee that he will make about his own reaction to the speech?...

Are these the worst tweets to have ever been tweeted by Trump… so far? Colbert called the tweets “sickening” and “in no way true.” The title of the segment itself declared, “This Tweet Trumps All Other Horrible Trump Tweets.” Credit: CBS As time went by it did not go up by much. Then, a long time later, they started to report really large numbers, like 3000… If a person died for any reason, like old age, just add them onto the list....

Colbert highlighted this on Tuesday night. Thank god Tucker is covering what historians will call panda-monium,' Colbert said. Its so complicated that I just want to take a moment to break down Tuckers report for you. Credit: The Late Show with Stephen Colbert/Youtube Basically, he said something really bad could happen, but it doesnt. Never forget they are panda BEARS, godless killing machines. The modern Colbert could come to only one conclusion....

CBS luminaries slammed President Trump at the networks glitzy annual upfront presentation at Carnegie Hall on Wednesday. Were taking on this world of alternative facts and fake news,' Bergen declared in a behind-the-scenes intro. CBS has a great lineup of game shows:Lets Make a Deal,The Price is Right. Credit: Christopher Polk/Getty Images By the way, those two sentences were the entire conversation between Michael Cohen and Stormy Daniels. Trumps got a crack legal team including former New York mayor Rudy Giuliani....

As the late-night circuit collectively groaned on Tuesday night, well… not exactly. TheLate Showhost was perplexed by Trumps admiration of Kim. Trump also admitted, as shown in video from C-SPAN, that he could be wrong about North Korea. Honestly, I think hes gonna do these things. I may be wrong, he said. I may stand here before you in six months and say, Hey, I was wrong. I dont know that Ill ever admit that, but Ill find some kind of an excuse....